“I have no problem making the moral decision against the party.”
\n“To be fair, you have no problem making the amoral decision against the party.”
\n<\/p>\n
“You want Darth Vader and super absorbent? You get two Darth Vader towels.”<\/p>\n
“That sounded like a train.”
\n“No. What that was, was Hawver texting the person next him.”<\/p>\n
“You’re heroic scale to somebody.”<\/p>\n
“I like the new Guy because his name is ‘noogie.'”<\/p>\n
“You haven’t been reading my notes? I post them online for everyone to see!”
\n“You post them online?”<\/p>\n
“…And that the source of the polyps was not, in fact, the planet’s butthole. It was instead a jar, which was that-a-way.”<\/p>\n
“There was a lot of that.”
\n“There was, in fact, a lot of that, which is why I’m perpetrating that on you.”<\/p>\n
“Why would that happen?”
\n“Why would you go in the pit?”
\n“Why does Stanley have a best friend?”<\/p>\n
“You lose 3 sanity to the flying polyp. Clearly, you’ve seen worse in your bootlegging days.”<\/p>\n
“It’s like a beholder of mouths.”
\n“And knives.”<\/p>\n
“How can it fly with one wing?”
\n“It bitch-slaps reality and does what it wants.”<\/p>\n
“Oh god, you’re doing the thing!”
\n“I am. And you’re not looking.”<\/p>\n
“I’m hoping for a dance-off.”
\n“Save me, Chris Pratt.”<\/p>\n
“You’re going to try to dance-off with a polyp.”
\n“Hell yes. I’ve got legs!”<\/p>\n
“Stanley, your initiative.”
\n“It’s 50.”
\n“I am aware.”
\n“He’s saying it’s your turn.”
\n“Oh!”<\/p>\n
“It’s like you shot ballistic jelly.”
\n“Or just jelly.”
\n“That’s where the jam is!”<\/p>\n
“So the distance on my gun – is that in feet or meters?”
\n“Inches.”<\/p>\n
“I think you assumed we’d never hit.”<\/p>\n
“I’m unconscious. I’m role-playing that.”<\/p>\n
“That’s what the line under firearms is for.”
\n“Projectile vomit?”<\/p>\n
“Ulrich, are you okay? Do you need anything?”
\n“Yes. A one-way ticket to anywhere but this godforsaken continent.”<\/p>\n
“I’m glad I’m not in the pit.”
\n“Some of us are questioning our life choices here.”
\n“I’m pretty sure you started doing that four sessions ago.”<\/p>\n
“See, I was worried that he was going to say there was a burning, tingly sensation.”<\/p>\n
“How close is the box to the shaft?”
\n“That’s kind of a personal question.”<\/p>\n
“I mean, I don’t hate sand with an Anakin Skywalker level of passion…”<\/p>\n
“You didn’t have to roll to climb the rope. That was just for style.”<\/p>\n
“Yeah, but you’re gonna kill yourself this early in the session?”
\n“He’s got a soccer game to watch.”<\/p>\n
“Does… he know that’s a portal to somewhere else?”<\/p>\n
“I don’t know if they have language, but they’ll have the legend of that one crazy-ass human…”<\/p>\n
“If we are lacking a person, I will enact plan ‘Simple Lever.'”
\n“Using the person who refused to go…?”<\/p>\n
“He’s probably not died yet.”
\n“He will when we close the hole.”<\/p>\n
“The problem is, if you come back, I have to do the funerary rite backwards.”<\/p>\n
“You’re absolutely sure you got it.”
\n“I’m pretty sure it got you.”<\/p>\n
“You never know. It might be more potent.”
\n“Even more reason that I don’t want to light it!”<\/p>\n
“There is a flash, a sound wave…”
\n“Oh. I just realized why we shouldn’t do this.”<\/p>\n
“The jar was a metaphor. You’d think you people would have metaphors down, with all this tomorrow and yesterday…”<\/p>\n
“And which way was the tentacle thingy with the bad place?”<\/p>\n
“So they’re non-eucalyptus places?”<\/p>\n
“There was no eucalyptus in that city!”
\n“That’s because Australia is only six inches deep.”<\/p>\n
“To be fair, he had a constant screaming in his head. He just passed it on.”<\/p>\n
“So he’s screaming in French? ‘Le aaaaaaaaaaargh!'”<\/p>\n
“There’s too much sand and heat. We should go somewhere nicer. Like Egypt.”<\/p>\n
“We can put some tarps on it…”
\n“Then it’ll have stealth capabilities!”<\/p>\n
“No. There are no frozen custard machines in Australia in 1925.”<\/p>\n
“How many radiators do we want?”<\/p>\n
“Okay, small Devil’s advocate moment here. We left all those survivors down there…”
\n“I hoped you wouldn’t remember that.”<\/p>\n
“His people made Guy much better!”
\n“They didn’t fix him.”
\n“I didn’t say they fixed him. I said they made him better.”<\/p>\n
“I almost can’t fail.”
\n“Don’t say that!”
\n“Damn it, John.”<\/p>\n
“So we’ve created a giant sinkhole.”<\/p>\n
“There’s an equal amount of butthole sweat in either place.”<\/p>\n
“A couple hours of later, you see buildings on the horizon.”
\n“Oh, please tell me they’re human buildings.”<\/p>\n
“Damn it. We’ve returned to a scene.”<\/p>\n
“Where did we come from?”
\n“Darwin.”<\/p>\n
“The only thing we left in Darwin was our desire to leave.”<\/p>\n
“That’s where you met me and my crew, none of which have made it out alive.”<\/p>\n
“He’s better with bow and arrow than he is with actually effective weapons.”<\/p>\n
“When we stop for a potty break, I need to talk to Hildebrand.”
\n“Okay…”
\n“Not while we’re peeing. I know there are rules about that kind of thing.”<\/p>\n
“You’re going to go to all that trouble to avenge me?”<\/p>\n
“I’m pretty sure at this point that what we’re hearing is Jason’s smart-ass comments.”<\/p>\n
“I don’t remember any mountain driving.”
\n“Yeah, but you know what isn’t between Kunkudgery and Bungabilliewell? London. And yet we went through it on the way here.”<\/p>\n
“So the question here is, do we all have the same monologue, or do we get individualized monologues?”
\n“Wah-wah, wah-wah-wah-wah.”<\/p>\n
“One of the monkeys got the right bolt!”<\/p>\n
“So the entire time, we’re being entertained by one quarter of a barbershop quartet.”<\/p>\n
“Oh! With all the screaming, you could probably learn French.”<\/p>\n
“It occasionally, during the height of the rain, drowns out Guy’s voice.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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