“I’m going to spend the luck so I become the target of literally everything ever…”
\n<\/p>\n
“Guys, I’m going to come back from the past dead.”<\/p>\n
“You know in those Bugs Bunny cartoons, with the heiroglyphics marching past, occasionally with signs that say ‘Eat at Joe’s’? Yeah, you understand ‘Eat at Joe’s.'”<\/p>\n
“I was part of the crew that built this pyramid and the red one.”
\n“So this is your fault.”<\/p>\n
“Where are we?”
\n“Egypt.”
\n“Earth. I figured I’d start broader…”<\/p>\n
“This isn’t a committee decision! This is a thing that happened!”<\/p>\n
“Well, obviously you’re better at copying ancient Egyptian than at copying my handwriting.”<\/p>\n
“Is that what got you kicked out of ancient Egypt?”<\/p>\n
“You were on that chair for ten minutes.”
\n“You remember the time I went into a box and aged 10 years?”<\/p>\n
“He has not made any noodles.”
\n“I also haven’t made any appendages.”<\/p>\n
“You brought no tea. There is no tea in your pack. You are literally the worst Englishman I’ve ever met.”<\/p>\n
“When we came in, he wasn’t Chinese!”<\/p>\n
“What happened to this whole stiff upper lip thing?”
\n“I’ve seen some shit, man. I’ve seen some shit.”<\/p>\n
“I can still hear him screaming. It’s been over a month.”<\/p>\n
“Uh, we have investigated this pyramid, and I think we’ve found terrible things in it.”<\/p>\n
“We came to see what they saw, and I think we’ve seen what they saw. They saw ancient Egypt and went banana-cakes.”<\/p>\n
“I know what you’re going to say, and I’m not going to like it.”
\n“I was going to say we should restore the eye.”
\n“Okay, that’s not what I thought you were going to say.”<\/p>\n
“I hate these people. I really hate these people. Not these people, the people who are doing this to us.”<\/p>\n
“Every time I say his name, she loses five minutes. Black pharaoh, black pharaoh, black pharaoh – now she’s back to Tuesday.”<\/p>\n
“It’s a simple plan: one, two, three. There’s not even a question mark before the last step.”<\/p>\n
“All the gods have left the building. Don’t go in there. Ever.”<\/p>\n
“They have ever intention of putting back up the boards you removed.”
\n“Boards are not secure enough. Concrete.”<\/p>\n
“We’re leaving, right?”
\n“Yep.”
\n“We’re going back to London?”
\n“Nope.”<\/p>\n
“What’s wrong with the Yithian now?”
\n“He’s now Chinese.”
\n“…We are so fucked up.”<\/p>\n
“There was a telegram from your accountant. ‘It’s all very technical, but due to markets shifting and massive embezzlement, your funds have been seriously depeleted.'”
\n“Text him back he’s fired.”
\n“Warn him that there’s lead futures in his future.”<\/p>\n
“I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that I asked someone to do magic.”
\n“That is a big step for you.”<\/p>\n
“No one has murdered you in your sleep.”<\/p>\n
“Nope, I can’t read ancient Egyptian. I damned near tried.”<\/p>\n
“Nairobi is also the capital of Kenya.”
\n“It is?”
\n“Yes. Pete said that. Twice.”<\/p>\n
“Wait, you weren’t here for any of that.”
\n“No, I wasn’t here when he was reasonable.”<\/p>\n
“Mumbasa is also in Kenya, before anyone lets me say anything else stupid.”<\/p>\n
“The only thing that drives him is money and fear. The only two things…”<\/p>\n
“You are also not a woman.”
\n“That you are aware of.”<\/p>\n
“You’re doing a much better job than we did. They have information and no angry mobs.”<\/p>\n
“That’s in the same time frame – ”
\n“It’s in the same typeface. It must be.”<\/p>\n
“I have a book of pressed flowers. Well, actually, I’ve pressed flowers between the pages of the Necotic Scriptures.”
\n“That’s not a good idea.”
\n“Yeah, uh, sometimes the flowers crawl out.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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