“You’re gonna hear my heartbeat under the floorboards for the rest of your life.” “We just didn’t realize how far down we could fall from the floor.” “Thankfully I’m unconscious.”“Yeah, but you’re gonna wake up french kissing a rat.” “I’ll get you a self-bone-tattooing kit.”
“And we activated it. And by we, I mean – ““‘We.’ Yes.” “No dice.”“No, a lotta dice but no hits.” “All right, the next game I run, poop is going to be a super-important resource.” “You’ll have two columns, your poop and poop you’ve collected. Because they’ll have different properties.”“My shit and your shit?”“Produced and […]
“Now that you’ve said it, I like the idea that infecting him will Emil-iorate the situation.” “You’re an ‘other people’ to someone.” “You are way more invested in this hole than the rest of us.”“It’s my neighbor and I’m nosy!” “I had fifty feet – ““Before it was cool?”“Before it was expensive.”
“As me why the codpiece. Because if he tracks us down, I’ll be able to kick him in the dick.” “Which we have avenged slightly today.”“I just wish I could have gotten the codpiece off faster.”“That’s what she said.” “I got a twelve! Based on a 13! I’m just excited because it’s double digits!” “I’m […]
“They would not kick your ass. They would adjust your ass to smile ratio, sir.” “Nine eats like the tapeworm is hungry.”
“Poked a badger with a spoon. What? It’s an original sin.” “I mean, he’s either going to live or he’s going to get laid.” “I’m very smart! Just because I can’t do math or read doesn’t mean I’m not smart!” “Armin has books and books of math! Did you know there was that much math?” […]
“The cricket remembers!”“That goddamned cricket is holding it hostage.” “I stole more than everybody else. I stole their hearts.” “That’s a magical object. I feel like that’s not safe – ““Could be.”” – For you.”“Could be.” “Magical butt-pluuuug.” “This exact thing is why we cannot have nice things.” “Look, I can do numbers!”“It’s just birds […]
“This is why we can’t put him in a dustpan – there’s too many knives.” “I’m gonna get Darrin on our side.”“Because you’re gonna tear him open and wear him as a suit?” “I’m gonna write it down: 1500 is more than 28.” “It would be hilarious if he turned out to be that dwarf […]
“Electricity? Is that a gnome term?” “Lightning.”“Ohh – lightning! Why didn’t you say so?”“I did!” “I’m not wearing that hat you bought me.”“It’s the nicest thing you own!”“I have nice boots.”“It’s the nicest thing you own.” “Do you not want clothes that don’t itch?”“Your clothes don’t itch?”“Do you not want calluses on your genitals?” “A […]
“That’s what happens when you tie someone up with a performance check.” “Does this have anything to do with your decorative knot-typing?” “He supplies bodies to the colleges in the city. Medical colleges.”“Not bardic colleges.”“That’s a different kind of bodies.”“One hopes they’re alive!” “Can’t really be bothered to remember last week’s perspective.” “Ambrose, can it […]