“I was waiting for the past tense to come out…”
“Oh, that’s right. Bryan does butt things.”
“This is true. That’s my 11th aspect: Not the most popular man in Canada.”
“I, Higgins, would like to be vaginally inserted, for I have been practicing being a douche.”
“Otto assures me it will be a very interesting experience.”
“Well, that’ll be a change for Canada.”
“Mad scientists have a listed number? Are you under M for mad or A for angry?”
“No, he’s under Scientist, Mad.”
“They’re gathering in the center of adventure: Ottawa.”
“Why do you have a problem with this?”
“I have a date!”
“Who doesn’t have enemies in Canada?”
“…Not me. I’m their national hero.”
“He’s OK with being number 3 to a beaver.”
“We’re all vaginally inserted in Ottawa?”
“You know, it may just be an American thing… but we just throw sticks for our dogs.”
“A pirate initiation rite that would severely affect the effectiveness of their crew?”
“To make them all peg-legged!”
“Except for the size four with the painted toenails.”
“Yes, that’s clearly a man’s foot.”
“Probably an American’s.”
“Uh… I left my wallet in my other country…”
“Yes, Dallas, Manitoba. Known for its famous footwear throughout the world.”
“He’s been wearing that foot shirt ALL NIGHT, and you guys just noticed?!”
“I’m going to need a coat.”
“I’ll get you one from the RCMP stores.”
“I’m going to need a better coat than *that*.”
“Ahhh! Canada-quake!”
“Yes, because that’s not the same as an earthquake.”
“Yes, it’s much more polite.”
“This is Vancouver. That means rich.”
“They own more than one beaver!”
“In 1910, it referred to a bearded man. In 1927, it transitioned to a different beard on a different gender… on a different face…”
“Found shoe: looking for sole mate.”
“Yay! I got twat again!”
“Ex-cuse me eh?”
“Did we just have our first official Wikipedia fight?”
*thoughtfully* “Bootlegging.”
“Bootlegging?! They have no FEET!”
“Hey Bryan… you haven’t been jumped by this many Chinamen since your wedding night.”
“Darryl, there’s trouble in Canada! Quick, come murder people! ”
“If you murder enough people, it’ll take the heat off this other investigation.”
“Wow, that’s the third most racist thing you’ve said tonight.”
“What were the other two?”
“Canadian jokes.”
“But I didn’t surrender!”
“I’m not MAD. I just get these terrible headaches!”
“The rumor of the nine-foot man!”
“It’s his new invention – always wet ink! It has a thousand and one uses!”
“Actually, I can’t think of one…”
“There’s a black man and a Chinese car!”
“Racism!”