“…Notice that the clearing ahead is suspiciously… paved…”
“I thought that was a pond! That’s a bear track?!”
“When did Darryl turn into Short Round?”
“So I’m going to hustle up to the corpse – I mean Feng. That will blow me – I MEAN BLOW MY TURN.”
“It sounds like something you’d order at Taco Bell when you’re drunk.”
“Bryan, I’m going to do two things. First, apologize for cheating, and second, buy the light crossbow that I tried to fire earlier…”
“I rolled a 37 on Alchemy to make Mentos…”
“I should remind you now that this book is called ‘Stolen Lands’, but it should be called ‘face-raping bears’.”
“Would you like some slightly fondled elk meat?”
“Really? Really?!”
“You DID say Steve West…”
“I am made of sugar. This is no good.”
“Like, ant-infested, crusty sugar?”
“Arkady, this is only for you, as everyone else is thoroughly distracted by the strange fluid falling from the sky…”
“If you were a gnome, you’d hit that!”
“With a flyswatter!”
“I don’t see why only NPCs can give quests. Anybody wants a quest, kill that spider!”
“If your players commit necrophilia, you should stop hanging out with them…”