“But in the grand scheme of things, a super duck really isn’t that much of a threat!”
“Dude, if anyone ever gives ME a dwarven steamer…”
“That was EXACTLY what was running through my head!”
“We haven’t even started yet, and I’m getting written up.”
“This is why I think all comic book team-ups are doomed to fail. One, they put the Hulk in it…”
“It’s a box of parts. It will eventually become an axe-throwing maniac. But right now it’s a box of parts.”
“We just know that there’s some sort of problem in the lake near him. Hey! Take care of your water!”
“They don’t have a tower. They have a quarry. The alchemists’ quarry.”
“‘Cthulhu, why do you need my permission to come out?’ ‘Well, you know, it would be rude.'”
“This is the first chance we’ve given your character to talk. Can he even speak??”
“Dog licker? Yes. He called me a dog licker.”
“It’s the new insult.”
“Tell us what you say. Because the king interprets the written word differently.”
“Baron Alexei writes in a flowery language I didn’t think your majesty would appreciate.”
“I assumed he wrote in crayon…”
“That makes more sense. ‘We are out of spoons. When you come to town, would you please bring egg salad?’…”
“I’m actually mighty impressed that their sewage system opened a portal to an old world.”
“I didn’t know halfling… nuggets… could do that?”
“‘Summon accuser.’ It summons some guy that just goes, ‘Mmm, it was you!'”
“Burn down the lake.”
“I think we can do it. We’ve got a lot of fire.”
“So you’re a kite?”
“Is there any particular reason you’re making an enemy for life?”
“No.”
“Of the master assassin…”
“This is the end of Cerebrosgrad. I never should have invited – actually, I DIDN’T invite the alchemist…”
“I don’t know why that’s funny.”
“Why is that funny?”
“Because he’s going to be paste…”
“How do you know you’ve had a bad day? If you’re made of water and you’re on fire.”
“I think we just found a Tick character: Buttery Justice.”
“Yes. The head of buttery justice!”
“The LOVE butter of justice.”
“The bagel of injustice.”
“Just remember: if you kill him… we won’t care.”
“Wow! The nation’s economy has taken an upturn!”
“So the water melon comm… Water elemental…”
“So at the water elemental community meeting – ‘What happened?’ ‘I was punched to death by a kite.'”
“Well, they’re not necessarily going to destroy the city. They just weren’t made with the most stringent safety standards…”
“Right. Morally ambiguous fireworks…”
“Buggering a dead swan is worse than fisting a horse… and that’s going to get Twittered, isn’t it?”
“I like how, all the things we say, and he has to say buggering.”
“It does get used more often.”
“And so does the swan.”
“This game is over.”
“No, I want to know what you guys are doing with the unbuggered swans.”
“I’m not sure if you guys are going to kill this or befriend it.”
[in unison] “Flying owlbear cavalry!”
“Oh, it’s a wild accusation demon!”
“It’s almost like swords are dangerous!”
“She gave you more information than she ever has!”
“I don’t think so! Let me go through the notes!”
“It’s no incorporeal! It’s gay!”
“They’re all going to have crackpot theories!”
“This whole thing is a crackpot theory!”
“It’s still dead, by the way.”
“Well, this is not the character that cares. I’m carrying a dead duck.”
“It also did not suddenly become a duck. It’s a swan.”
“So I carried the duck for nothing?”
“…Not even a little bit.”
“The rogue can search for traps.”
“How do I search for traps again?”
“No, but I think I have just closed the gateway behind us with my buttcheeks.”
“I mean, that’s like the sphincter of space and time there.”
“My buttcheeks are now the event horizon.”
“Second thing, can we identify what that pulse was?”
“Feng’s buttcheeks closing.”
“Feng’s ass closes, things glow…”
“Feng’s ass does not make the internet a better place.”
“I disagree.”
“I have one of those things that shines light!”
“A peasant with a torch? We hate when you call us that!”
“I find that having multiple-choice prophesies works best for me.”