“…And flying a flag on fire is a sign of distress.”
“And if the flag is on fire, it’s a sign that they’re REALLY in distress.”
“Painting is so last year. Now, you make tiny, tiny outfits…”
“I don’t think he gets an ‘Attaboy’. He’s a fish.”
“He hasn’t gotten an ‘Attafish’.”
on Mark Wahlberg:
“He looks like that guy on Band of Brothers that you look at and go, ‘Damn, that guy looks an awful lot like Mark Wahlberg.'”
“You’re… uh… not Phipps or Narwhal at all.”
“No, I’m Mary.”
“Is that your mini there?”
“Yes.”
“Oh. It’s… uh… very feminine.”
“Hey, when I get nervous, my head-penis pops out.”
“…That’s going on Twitter, isn’t it?”
“I get nervous head-boners.”
“Your feet are very hairy! You are not a very well-groomed human!”
“See, this whole trip, they’ve been lured into a sense of overconfidence by my incompetence.”
“Yeah, I probably would have died again. That’s nothing new.”
“I don’t know what happened, Captain! He fell into my teeth!”
[middle of a fight]
“All I can think of is the amount of pumping that isn’t getting done right now.”
“I have climb. Magic climb. Not Yammy-climb. Real climb.”
“See, don’t you wish you were Mr. Fantastic?”
“Noo.”
“Death before Fantastic powers.”
“See, everyone that dies gets a choice – death or rubber powers. Nobody in history has chosen rubber powers.”
“With his last gasp, he learned to speak Aquan.”
“I don’t know Fishguts that well, so let’s go with Cutthroat. You know you’ve made some bad decisions when those are your two best friends…”
“I didn’t kill him! Well, I almost killed him. I guess I should have checked on him. He may have drowned. I… I was nervous.”
“Why were you breaking into our quarters anyway? And now you’ve killed one of the crew!”
“Well, it’s not going well.”
“We can blame it on rats!”
“Rats don’t have mouths – she places a hand on either side of your head – THIS BIG!”
“Shark-rats?”
“Like the shark-dog? Now you’re blaming Bryan…”
“If you didn’t bite so well, you wouldn’t be in this pickle…”
“He looks down at the mangled corpse of his friend.”
“It’s not THAT mangled! Is he dead?”
“It can’t be THAT mangled. I only bit him twice.”
“Why do I always have to cover up a murder in these games?”
“That’s the most important motivation of a pirate: make new friends!”
“…Subdermal vents…”
“Subdermal vents? Bryan, that’s an asshole.”
“I was trying to say sub-surface thermal vents, and it came out subdermal vents…”
“I deliver touch attacks from 30 feet away. I throw an axe…”
“The court’s considered opinion is that you should be battered and fried…”
“The boarding thing is still not working for me.”
“Ah. The whole climb thing.”
“No, the whole throwing thing. I missed the boat.”
“I’ll cut you. I’ll cut you with my love stick.”
“Uh… Mary, I’m deeply disturbed by your love stick.”
“Glazing…”
“Glazing bro!”
“A glazing bro, like on Ace of Cakes!”
“Nope! I control the magic! The hat is tiny!”
“It’s dangling from your head-penis.”
“It’s the second time the head-penis has come up!”
“I’m pretty sure Collins got the penis out early.”
“Aaaand that is… a number.”
“I didn’t go henhhenhhenh with the rules… I stabbed a guy and bit him.”
“Join our crew or join our supperrrrr…”
“See, all he is is Sharkdog’s pants. No, wait… his collar.”
“I don’t want to be carnal with you, even though your dance moves are premium.”
“Here’s your ribbon, back in the box.”
“Here’s your ribbon, back in the box, and take this potato to bake while you’re in there.”