“We are all keepers of the sacred flame of bullshit.”
“‘Iiii’ve got another dollar!’ That’s what my summoning round is.”
“Pretty sure one of my abilities later on is to create anthropomorphic people.”
“…Say that again, Darryl?”
“Sorry, I was only half paying attention.”
“That’s okay, I was only half talking.”
“What? You didn’t get to see the eyebrows from this side. Unless they wrinkled all the way over.”
“Okay… what else? Help me out here, rum!”
“Hey, my wife is a human!”
“He’s the seeing-eye dog for the shark-dog.”
“You seem… seaworthy. I was going to say worldly, but that seemed wrong.”
“Well, I am a gnome.”
“I’m not going to hold it against you.”
“It’s more reined-in than the goblin.”
“And it doesn’t pretend to be part of the crew.”
“The good captain is worth four men.”
“Five, if you talk to him to his face. He has one just for glaring at you.”
“All right… she is unfriendly at this point.”
“Hey! I got somewhere.”
“…And then find out she’s his sister. Then you get the Skywalker bonus.”
“Ugh! That’s not a bonus!”
“It might be a Pavlovian thing: punch the half-elf, get a crab!”
[speaking to player whose character wants to seduce everyone]
“You want to be riddled with syphilis, don’t you?”
“I’m not sure what I’m more disturbed by – the fact that you assume we all have toothbrushes, or the fact that you just approached a mutiny like a business decision.”
“Let’s all hug it out.”
“I’m not hugging you, lady syphilis.”
“I’m not hugging that. Even I have standards.”
“Well, with no ship and no crew, there’s no need to mutiny…”
“I don’t use disparaging names. That’s why I haven’t called Sam ‘Half-Rope’ yet.”
“Gaffer. Giffer. Gaffer is a job, Giffer is a gnome.”
“Okay, I try to make a cart. You see what happened when I tried to make a dog, though.”
“You know what helps with that? Get your character in a fight and have him die, and then he’s not in relationships any more.”
“Half the party at this point. Two and a half,” points at the half-elf.
“Like I said, reminds me of my first night in Port Peril – lots of tongue and none of it good.”
“Um, I’m going to set the frog in front of me on puree…”
“Hunter knows you’re not a snack!”
“I’m an officer now; he may think something different now.”
“Okay, Hunter knows you’re not a snack, SIR.”
“I’m going to change my name from Blyds to Bled Out…” (it’s pronounced ‘Bleeds’)
“Great. Now you have Ghoul Fever AND Syphilis.”