“Is that you, Kacey?”
“Chirping?”
“Yes.”
“Are you… chirping, Kacey?”
“Yes. It’s not even the iPad chirping. It’s me.”
“I don’t have nearly enough sugar in my system to deal with who eats whose faces.”
“Pirate Fun Bucks!”
“Aw, man. Where’s Jason?”
“I’m not gonna lie; I thought that said defacing instead of defrauding, and I was like, ‘if I scar someone, am I gonna die?'”
“How did you forget that?”
“I was thinking, ‘It’s the dog. What’s the dog name?'”
“The word was either going to be ‘canoodling’ or ‘scoodelie-bookin’.”
“The faster ship is hopefully the one that’s chasing. Otherwise, it’s a really short chase…”
“Oooh. I just looked at the cover of the Player’s Guide. We’re *pirates*??”
“Kevin kept hitting me over and over in the same spot, and apparently I’m less intelligent than a rat, because a rat can learn to DODGE.”
“You’re right! You CAN predict the future! You WERE going to hit me again in the same spot! And it hurts like a bitch!”
“A fish with a hat. That’s all I am to you people.”
“Hunter doesn’t get a vote.”
“I asked him. He’s not a pirate. He doesn’t do it for ideological reasons.”
“I wonder how many pirates ARE pirates for ideological reasons?”
“Three. I took a poll.”
“What about the guy that steals for one gold and one copper? He’s got to feel like a fool! ‘No, no, this is 99 silver!'”
“He’s got 99 problems, and a copper isn’t one?”
“As far as I know, only one person has stolen anything from anyone else on this ship.”
“That’s not true. You’ve all stolen my dignity.”
“Those bubbles? Those are sad bubbles!”
“You don’t live until you see fishman S&M. Then you just… don’t live a little faster.”
“Can we make like Mississippi and free some slaves here?”
“Wouldn’t that be ‘make like Lincoln and free some slaves’?”
“Uh. Mississippi just ratified their constitution last week.”
“Look, you hold the ship the way you want to, and he’ll hold the ship the way he holds the ship.”
“Set flame!”
“Flame?”
“Let’s free those slaves with fire!”
“Hey, we can steam-broil people again!”
“And standing next to that heavily armored individual is a dwarf, who is making every gesture of ill repute he can come up with.”
“Um. ‘Surrender and we’ll fuck you lightly. Don’t and we’ll fuck you hard.'”
“What color is that flag?”
“Fuscia.”
“I guarantee there are butt pirates on the Fancy Lad.”
“You know what I like about that? Ballista shot is still on the ship.”
“Still on the ship? It’s still in that dude!”
“I will throw my hat away! No longer do I hide my fish-hood!”
“We are NOT mounting Elton John. I need to make that very clear!”
“Sir John, a query has come up in our fantasy role-playing game. Do you engage in scoodelie-pook?”
“And as a further question, do you hate that you have to answer this question?”
“Kacey? Where’s your book?”
“It’s in MY bag, where MY stuff is!”
“Well, it’s not convenient to my needs!”
“YOU SONS OF BITCHES! WHEN I UNSTAPLE MYSELF FROM THE DECK, YOU ARE ALL GONNA DIE!!”
“Wait, wait. Our bard drinks blood?”
“Yes, but he doesn’t eat faces, so he’s still allowed to vote.”
“Fishman suffrage begins now!”
“Everything I know about pirating, I learned in a canoe at summer camp.”
“Captain Blyds will allow face-eating during boarding expeditions.”
“It’s distasteful.”
“Not to him…”
“Your thing keeps getting more and more disgusting. And so does your shark-dog.”
“Luckily, I didn’t get the ‘it’s a wig, burn it,’ while I had a mouthful of soda.”
“I can’t say ‘that bitch be crazy, yo’ with a Russian accent.”
“That’s a bad idea, captain dwarf-man. That one, she will fuck your face in.”
“You know what, Darryl? You get 2 shares of that [ship full of fish].”
“We’re going to have self-inflating armor on our marines…”
“…And you send a letter to either their friends. Or their enemies. Or both.”
“Yes, then… we’re eBaying you off…”
“This is not hand-holding; I’m just not touching the map.”
“But the undead thing doesn’t respect safe words.”
“Let’s strap Mary to them so they’re toxic.”
“All I heard was ‘get me all worked up’ from this side, and I flatlined…”
“Come on, guys. I was in the bathroom for a MINUTE.”
“The ship has an AC of 2.”
“I was seeing that, but I didn’t want to say it out loud.”
“Why don’t you move that extra 0 up the the AC, because I think we could use it.”
“We lost 10,000 hit points. What hit us? MATH!”
“Is there a flag to say ‘we’re really really sorry’?”
“There’s nothing wrong with getting up to her and then beating her face in. Well, except Bryan will object.”
“Well, I didn’t know. As far as I can tell, all he does is fail to poke dolls.”
“Well, let’s see… I’ll bet this piece of pocket lint against your arm spooge.”
“Every time the two of you speak, my life expectancy drops…”
“So she’s taking pity on us. She thinks we’re morons and she’s taking pity on us.”
“No, no, he ate a face today. He has to go cold turkey before he gets a vote.”
“It’s a random axe of violence.”
“You’re not allowed to touch the axe now.”