“Unless you’re afraid to sit between Bryan and I. We’re not velociraptors, you know.”
“Because there’s an event in the next book that is going to happen, if I have to drag your dead, lifeless corpses to it!”
“I came in at the wrong time… I came in to, ‘What are YOUR nipples doing?'”
“You guys still don’t trust Mary. She was trustworthy.”
“Uh, I have three vials of antitoxin that say otherwise.”
“So that was your ‘talk to Darryl about his nipples’ song?”
“We should put cannons in bags of holding. Then we can shoot them from inside the ship! ‘Sir, we’re being shot at!’ ‘From where?’ ‘We don’t know…'”
“What’s his name had it.”
“Jesus?”
“No…”
“Reinheidt!”
“No, not the horse…”
“I will not save you from sexual innuendo but I will save you from racism.”
“Because it was Hawver’s birthday, and the best present we could give him was to devour his children.”
“Bryan, what’s your character’s name?”
“Salvatine de Versa.”
“I”m going to kill you all.”
“I need to run downstairs and buy gayer dice.”
“I wasted a feat slot so I could go last less.”
“Bryan, slap yourself until forgiven.”
“I thought it was bang my head against something until forgiven.”
“You know, five characters have died since you were last here.”
“Are you lying?”
“Nope! And two of them were mine!”
“Is it creepy? Did it get creepy? I was going for creepy.”
“No, it’s just cheerful.”
“Does she scream AND rage or scream IN rage?”
“Which would you hate more?”
“That’s what I don’t understand. Why does the fish have such good climb?”
“Mr. Myagi taught the fishman karate?”
“Yeah, that was Karate Kid 3.”
“My thought on it is, he’s now captain of the problem.”
“I’m not offended if it was intentional. I’m much more offended if it was unintentional.”
“With my pistol? Do you want me to shoot at your back where the invisible creature is?”
“It’s a penis. You’re shooting at a penis.”
“You just took a penis to the ankle.”
“I’m sure that’s a website…”
“I don’t like crabs.”
“That’s why we got rid of Mary T.”
“Hold me closely, tiny viiiiperrr.”
“It is still alive.”
“That is the toughest penis I have ever seen.”
“We have a map?”
“Yeah, it’s that flap of skin he’s waving around.”
“Jesus. You aren’t even looking.”
“I delegate.”
“Dude, there’s what, seven of them? They can all live in the goat pen.”
“You have Profession: Sailor; you don’t get seasick.”
“It was all theoretical. I learned on board a ship in drydock…”
“The closest word to that in Dwarf is ‘stick.'”
“We have three hundred different words for stone.”
“But if it’s made of wood, it’s a stick.”
“That particularly odd-shaped stick there moves the ship around, from what I understand.”
“Are you twittering my lithp?”
“No.”
“Good. I’m not sure how that would tweet.”
“I… don’t have siege engineering any more.”
“Did you need sign language for that? Was that even sign language?”
“Why does the fith man laugh whenever I talk?”
“On the other ship. He can hear you on the other ship.”
“We just have to wait until dawn and look for something that looks like the captain’s nut. By the way, drop your pants.”
“The boat has many noises as it sits at anchor. However, ‘ahhh!’ isn’t one of them.”
“Last time I went with Bryan, I died. So, no offense…”