“This burger gets more and more curious as I go along…”
“We’re big boy pirates now, so…”
“Barnabas comes out of the tavern. ‘Didn’t I park here?'”
“That would be awesome.”
“I see we’re going to keep her.”
“Are you going to chain her up and take care of her?”
“I’m not going to put her in a cask and throw in a man to feed her now and then!”
“Oh, good call. I haven’t checked on the kraken recently… I should go do that.”
“I’ll have you know that our captain is much more dismissive… so, prepare to be delegated.”
“That’s going to be our new cry when we board a ship. ‘Prepare to be delegated!'”
“Okay, so, surrender to yourselves… Those of you who, fight those of you who don’t.”
“How do you tell who won?”
“If they look at us with praise, we won. If they don’t, then we sink their ship and move on.”
“Did I save him? No, I just kept talking to him…”
“See, you thought we got rid of the kraken. I actually put it back in there to see how it flavored the rum.”
“I thought you taught it to brew…”
“It’s actually a kraken alchemist.”
“A krakelmist?
“I’m not with him.”
“I am with him in not being with him.”
“But if he was going to be relied on, he could be relied on to be unreliable.”
“Why didn’t we let Kacey be captain, again?”
“We do get results.”
“Of one sort or another.”
“Well, okay, we do make things happen.”
“Ask me anything about my god – anything at all – and I’ll see if I can answer that question. It’s not looking good, though…”
“Do you need to telegate your sense motive-ing?”
“I need to delegate basically everything.”
“Good, so we always go to the place where we’ll be hated the most.”
“How likely is it that another ship full of pirates, with a fish man with a moustache, is going to show up?”
“All right. Let’s go get our comedically large moustaches on.”
“Such an aptly-named ship for what we use it for…”
“What, death?”
“I’ve had this moustache since my very first… eh…”
“Your first ‘eh’?”
“My first encounter, let’s say. It’s my lucky moustache.”
“You can have the cash, but we’re keeping the box. We can’t not steal something; we’re pirates.”
“We stole you your cash back.”
“A young and beautiful – and also scantily clad elf girl – meets you at the door.”
“Shotgun!”
“She shunts the rest of the party off to various acolytes…”
“As many as I can herd at one time.”
“All right. You write down everything you know and everything you want to know, and we’ll take it to the other temple and compare lists…”
“Not to mention we learned some tricks from this paladin-king up north. He had a magical man-gina…”
“Wow, he just got all squinty.”
“It’s the sun in his eyes.”
“It’s the imminent stabbing.”
“Your belly spits?”
“Darryl, can we change places?”
“No ma’am. I don’t want Kacey’s lower regions spitting at me.”
“I don’t know about you, but all this talk of secrets has me secreting.”
“…Maybe you should wait on the ship.”
“We do have one tradition: that a secret must be purchased with a secret.”
“Well, when I was five…”
“I don’t think I want to continue with this. You’re the captain. You pay.”
“Well, all right. When my bosun was five…”
“I have a secret. I ate the kraken and replaced it with an animatronic tentacle.”
“I assume you’re not looking to hear stories of grab-ass between cousins, or eating pets.”
“Will you take a secret I just made up?”
“That’s not a secret. People could see that explosion for miles around.”