“Well, you guys are around him all the time; shoot rubber bands at his penis until he does it.”
“I found out today that there’s a group of spiders called pirate spiders. I assume they have, like, peg-legs and eyepatches.”
“They’re called balloon spiders, and they’re made by the DEVIL.”
“Haa-ha. Someone dropped a ball.”
“I don’t know what this is, but I want to put it in my mouth.”
“I call for some sort of ruling about excessive bases on the Covenant.”
“I have five ranks in it now.”
“Without Fear?”
“Yes.”
“What are you talking about?”
“On the corner of Teleport and BAMF?”
“I like cuttlefish, because they’re cuddly.”
“Cuttle, not cuddle…”
“Oh, can I have the fighter? I love the way it crunches.”
“No, no, this is a membrane only club.”
“I’m towing it to give everyone else a fair advantage.”
“I cast Blistering Invective! ‘You viscious monster! What have you done to that fish-man!'”
“So what you’re saying is that you spoke harshly to a lightning elemental, and it left the ship.”
“If you get a dwarf, you get a siege engineer.”
“Hmm…”
“To be honest, Darryl and Sandra are out, so they’re probably dead anyway because it’s just me and the elemental.”
“It only says every man should obey his commander. It doesn’t say we have to respect him.”
“Funny, I won’t mutiny for anything on the ship, but if the captain orders me to respect him, and that’s it, I’m gone!”
“Well, I wasn’t hurt last round.”
“Yeah, but everyone else was.”
“Yeah, but they don’t matter.”
“I’m prone, with a rifle.”
“There’s no penalties for that.”
“Nope! It’s usually a good thing.”
“Rope elementals?”
“There’s no such thing as – ”
“Then you can cut it in half, and you get half a rope elemental!”
“Okay, it hits itself and causes itself to flee…”
“If you’re lucky, it will kill itself before you get killed.”
“Then it gets the loot and XP for itself!”
“Why does the lightning elemental have car keys?”
“Because it’s a bitch of a commute!”
“You have to obey your captain’s orders, not act like him.”
“Completely without meaning to, guys, I’ve built an effective character!”
“It’s beating itself off; we’re ok. Wait…”
“Furry pilots?”
“Press the yiff button!”
“Because if we continue on this topic, we’re going to find out how far a d12 goes up Bryan’s nose.”
“If something is invisible, you can see it; it’s in visible. If you can’t see it, then it’s unvisible.”
“I got an 8 for my climb check.”
“You are the greatest captain ever.”
“What did you hear?”
“Name.”
“I got a name for my climb check?”
“You’re still better than Captain Bag-o’-dicks.”
“Sandy spends everything she has and heals everyone for 16 points.”
“See, I told everyone I was fine.”
“Why are there teeth in the deck?”
“I don’t think you get more infamy by sacrificing yourself…”
“He doesn’t need an instrument any more; now he’s an accordion.”
“I’d wager that has to partially distract those invisible fuckers…”
“I’ve to get rid of this ‘take it in the butt’ armor.”
“It has a really good armor class, but the flaw…”
“I stand up and begin to sing. It’s going to sound different now because I don’t have any teeth.”
“Should we invite the guests from our last party?”
“We ARE inviting you to be spiteful and shallow, but we’re not kidnapping you this time.”
“It’s probably inert and does nothing; the guy just put on makeup and pretended to be dead to get us to go away.”
“We’re not cruel; those were gentle lashings.”