“This is not auction for the lowest bidder!”
“Wow, this is getting dumber the longer you talk.”
“Look, I’m not going to placate some kind of Twitter audience!”
“It’s like a clown car, but it’s a building.”
“You’re going to make Kevin invent rules for how you shoot your own ship, aren’t you?”
“Invent?”
“I remember it fondly… we had that cruel slaver Half-Rope on board…”
“He did everything a good captain does: he told everyone else to clear off his island.”
“That’s why I get big bucks.”
“Actually… you get the same bucks as 5/6 of us…”
“Lick it first, then pee on it.”
“It’s some sort of code, but I can’t figure it out!”
“No, no, they’re talking about pee.”
“I didn’t get a chance to bite off heads OR botch the negotiations.”
“We assumed your ego wouldn’t fit through the door…”
“Keep your chainsaw jaws away from my crotch!”
“Yeah, you notice that he’s only killing the useful characters.”
“Thank you!”
“So what you need to do is make a useless character, and you’ll live forever.”
“It wasn’t me.”
“You were the one standing next to him!”
“There were lots of people standing next to him!”
“You guys are terrible crew.”
“We only follow the lead of our terrible captain.”
“I will start taking fistfuls of gold and throwing them at the problem.”
“Please do not look at the castle until you’ve had your complimentary drink!”
“Did we forget about that?”
“Did we know about that?”
“Do we know if it’s Collins?”
“There are no water gnome droppings in the area.”
“Or we could put these where we put the rest of our dangerous chemicals: on the Dirge.”
“Explosives are where I draw the line…”
“Uh… I would drink that water elemental.”
“Well, fucking hell. Let this guy run wild if he’s going to fix things! We can beat him up after he’s done!”
“Greetings, three party members and… parts of a fishman!”
“I heard ‘wearing your alchemist’, and I was really confused.”
“Wait, are you an evil fashion designer, or do you design evil fashion?”
“Or you can head back and tell them where we are.”
“Nah, fuck that shit. I’m staying.”
“It should be pointed out that they were given strict orders to not harm us. That may or may not apply to any guests, visitors, settlers…”
“So what you’re saying is that we need to talk to those ghosts.”
“I’m saying we need to bust those ghosts.”
“We like our parties to be sparsely populated and extremely awkward.”
“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, we’ll just dig each other’s graves, because clearly we’re not getting off this island.”
“They’re not my crew; I don’t care.”
“I just wanted to know if the damn thing was alive. I’m not going to throw it into the water; then it’ll terrorize us and I’ll get in trouble.”
“I don’t know; how charismatic are giant squids?”
“Well, let’s go resolve other unresolved Mary issues. Let’s check on our prisoner.”
“Squiddly Dicks?”
“I think I’m going to abandon this group now.”
“Can I come with you?”
“Drag racing, and not the RuPaul kind.”
“I do have experience as a slaver, according to Sarah’s Twitter feed…”
“I’m favoriting everything I said. I fucking love me.”
“Are we spending into debt?”
“Well, we ARE a government, so… yes.”
“‘What was ramming speed?’ ‘About three-quarters of a mile an hour.'”
“Back to party planning, our favorite thing.”
“You guys spent WEEKS on this before, so I don’t even want to hear it.”
“Ooh, let’s have an Iron Chef competition for the crew!”
“Tonight’s secret ingredient is… vagina!”
“See? It’s aura of ‘might be possibly perturbed’, not ‘of doom’.”
“I make a will save to not be shaken when I use a public restroom, for god’s sake.”
“You can’t tweet ‘my ass is sweaty’?”
“I imagine somewhere out there, there’s a group that played this game very seriously and were very piratey…”
“And we had Bryan.”
“Did I mention we have a kraken?”
“So we do. Why is it still on my ship?”
“And there will be pre-determined embarrassing events that we’ll have to do damage control on. So basically, this is an episode of Friends.”