“I’m not sure he’s finished.”
“I hope he’s finished; we’ve moved on to the next book.”
“Uh-oh. Five minutes in Bryan’s office.”
“I’m not playing that game, either.”
“Also, it wasn’t me that said it and it’s my island. Also, we’re pirates and known for lying.”
“Okay, but who did tell them that?”
“I think because box text told them that. And obviously it holds no sway here.”
“It’s all Pete’s fault; he’s not here.”
“We got a whole bunch of Thundercats at this table!”
“Yes, Matt, we now have wild prostitutes running around the island.”
“Wait, isn’t that how we got wild horses in America?”
“Nothing is more upsetting than ill-tempered prostitutes.”
“Years from now, there will be herds and herds of prostitutes running across the wild landscape of our island.”
“You people are fucked up.”
“You people?”
“I’m gonna go check around the forest for chlyamidia!”
“Defended only by four small ballistas that couldn’t sink a rowboat.”
“That is fair…”
“Well, that’s more than I hoped for.”
“More than you hoped for?”
“I don’t think that’s what you mean…”
“More than you expected?”
“…And your people will not be required to provide such services. That being said, we are not exactly sure where they are.”
“You did not promise her that she would not kill herself?”
“A lot of things led to me going to the Dark Side… I was emotionally unprepared for being good, well-liked…”
“Sing a mean song and hurt his feelings.”
“Wait, that’s his punishment?”
“Yeah, do the whores know you’re a slaver?”
“I’m sure they’ll find out before the first meal we all have together…”
“That’s pretty sturdy as long as no one kicks the table… FUCK. Now you’re all going to kick the table.”
“What has 7 years of playing with you bastards taught me? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.”
“He was in love. You don’t pay for love.”
“No, he paid for the sodomy.”
“Is that girl on the cover him?”
“Hey, Bryan? Everything you’ve said in the last three minutes has not been internal.”
“See, and that’s the difference between you and me, Bryan; I’m not ashamed.”
“We voted him in a long time ago, before we were smart. And there hasn’t been a vote since.”
“Now you’ve crossed a line.”
“THE line or A line?”
“We’ve only got 2 hours to go and 1 page. I don’t think we can make it!”
“How can you not have agreed with my locking her up?”
“It’s easy. Say you’re locking them up.”
“I’m locking them up.”
“I disagree.”
“I never realized that boobs were like Pokemon, but you’re right. You may have ruined boobs for me.”
“I’m being shamed into being a pervert.”
“What is the penalty for tax evasion?”
“Well, if you’re doing it on Saucy’s island, a dirty song…”
“Was that a dick joke?”
“It is now.”
“Some people may notice Tessa making minute shakes of head at this, but Charlie Swift is not among them.”
“Wait. There’s a blowed-up island that we didn’t do?”
“It is I, Captain Yehviny Foreignname!”
“I am truly King. I am playing Undercover Boss, and you all failed.”
“I think truly what he wants is for us to assassinate him. He’s been sitting on that chair for an awfully long time…”
“There is a silver raven on the poop deck. …Really? You’re going to laugh at that? Still?”
“So what I’m getting here, sir captain lord sir, is that you don’t trust us with the truth of your business affairs. I feel more underling than ever.”
“We all know that the first chance you get, you’re going to kill me and take my stuff.”
“No, if I was going to do it at the first chance I got, you would already be dead.”
“You had a silver bird investigating stuff for a month?”
“It’s the only one that doesn’t talk back!”
“That’s why I had it built without vocal cords.”
“It wrote a letter.”
“Is it in fish?”
“No, it’s in bird.”
“You’re still talking as me.”
“I know. Once I get started, I can’t stop.”
“You’re as bad as Captain Foreignguy.”
“We also call him Bag-o-dicks; that doesn’t make that his name!”
“As first mate, shouldn’t he be first-coming?”
“So you’re still loyal to him?”
“Yeah! As loyal as I’ve ever been.”
“I’m as loyal as I’ve ever been to him, too, but that’s not very loyal, now is it?”
“I’ll touch it for you.”
“That’s what she said.”
“And that’s why she doesn’t have a penis anymore.”
“Heather doesn’t read the tweets, so I don’t have to worry.”
“Lucky bastard.”
“Look, if you haven’t learned this by now, the most difficult thing you can throw against us is plot.”