“I’m gonna give Collins a moment or two to get up here, so I don’t have to repeat the setup again.”
“What?”
“…Kacey, would you like a hero point?”
“I’m not gonna argue that I’m not smart, because I’m a genius and genius is so much beyond smart…”
“Oh, we’re going to play the League of Catholic Superheros again… And Thor?”
“The only thing that has been keeping us going is my repeated deaths and dropping good gear.”
“Wait, we get a hero point every time we hit Bryan?”
“We all live on a Chellish submarine…”
“Kacey, hero point?”
“I’ll back that.”
“That was terrible. But you did stab me last time.”
“What if they trick them into tying them up with half ropes?”
“Yeah, that’s all we have on our ships.”
“So they used twice the amount of half ropes…”
“That’s why we get together.”
“I thought it was for ritual humiliation…”
“I’m going to spend my hero points drinking pina coladas at the bottom of the sea…”
[on the subject of Paranoia action figures] “Does it die before you get it out of the blister?”
“Oh, no. You don’t get to surrender. This is your fucking fault.”
“It’s not your initiative, you silly little singer.”
“‘Immune to everything.'”
“You heard him; he’s immune to healing…”
“It’s fish on fish violence.”
“Okay, guys, guys, I’ve already laughed too much this evening; the tendons on the back of my head are hurting already.”
“Okay, guys, quit picking on me; Kevin’s enjoying it too much.”
“How low do we have to be to get rebuked by the fish-man.”
“I’m blind, not deaf!”
“I whack the shark-dog on the nose with a newspaper.”
“Would you LIKE the deafened condition?”
“Saucy, you’re underwater. You help no one at any time.”
“Don’t tell Kacey; I’m not going to give him another hero point for hitting you.”
“That’s why I took off my glasses. This is just going to be the night where Bryan is useless.”
“…And negotiate peace, instead of negotiating peace with their tasty, still-beating heart.”
“No, never mind, I don’t have a way to communicate with you.”
“Do you speak Common?”
“NOW we’re voting for aquatic peoples’ rights?”
“Yup, three whole captains.”
“Is there a half a captain somewhere that abstained?”
“All captains with arms.”
“I have arms! I’m part of the group for once!”
“That’s twice tonight that an aquatic member of the party has been discriminated against and it wasn’t me!”
“That’s a joke worth putting your head in a toilet for.”
“No, there’s no joke worth putting your head in a toilet.”
“Is that in the articles?”
“It’s about to be.”
“All the other ships are all so big and strong! Oh! Oh, Dominator!”
“No, Yammy. Just… no.”
“From now on, I’m going to refer to sex as a ‘boarding action’.”
“And that’s going to last until the first time you say that to Brandy…”
“Some day, these jokes are going to get old. That’ll be the same day we find the end of the internet.”
“My black market compass business? I call them compasses; I make them below-decks with pieces of tin and old arrowheads…”
“Sources say the Dirge is a minor nuisance!”
“Yay for marginally effective tactics!”
[singing] “Going to the playoffs and we’re gonna get married…”
“Is it sad that that’s exactly what was in my head?”
“What the hell is going on over there?”
“Making tacklebox cannons.”
“If you karate chop those hard enough, something amazing is going to happen!”
“Remember the time you had a submersible ghost ship and sold it for like $1?”
“It’s going to be a drive-by. Drive-by spellcasting.”
“That’s okay; we have a trustworthy commodore to guide us.”
“Where?”
“Not only do we want to commission your services; we’d like to commission you as a commodore as well.”
“I do like that our fleet of eight, nine ships… and our boarding party is Darryl.”
“Maybe this was a poor decision?”
“Which part was the poor decision, Yammy?”
“He has more hit points than Kacey’s boat.”
“My ship hasn’t raged yet either, but that’s not really an options.”
“Ah, the life of Steve the elf. We hardly knew him.”
“There’s quite a few captains on this ship.”
“Officers?”
“To be fair, all the officers on your ship are captains. I’m not very smart…”
“What’s fucking 2 higher than a 24?”
“Is that a penis he has in his hand?”
“Yup. That’s why I’m a fr – a fan.”
“A fran?”