“Man, I feel bad killing him when he’s not here.”
“Whatever. You need to make the most chaotic character ever!”
“Well, that’s certain how this group does it.”
“I don’t know; if he keeps dodging us for piddly little things like weddings… his OWN wedding…”
“That’s what I said by Collins’s logic.”
“Fuck, we had to follow steps? That’s what we were doing wrong!”
“Oh. My. God. Who’s heard of a fish fluffer? I mean, really?”
“Ok, virtually identical. Only Bryan is able to break physics enough for it to vary each time.”
“You actually suggested a not completely useless plan as we were leaving last week.”
“The next sentence in the book is bad. So the module says ‘kill the party,’ and I’m going to ignore it for a certain number of rounds…”
“Um. The Rock is the site of Sam’s biggest failure.”
“So we should definitely go there.”
“We could free them to the shackles of our ship!”
“I can Charisma at the fleet all day – ting! – but don’t ask me to brain at the fleet!”
“Alchemist, will you brain?”
*whispered* “Ask to hear the lamentation of his women.”
“You lose because your fleet is rafts! Here’s some logs I threw in the ocean; FEAR ME.”
“Why are we in Quint?”
“I know the names of three fucking cities: Quint, Port Royal – uh, Peril – and Butcher’s Rock.”
“He named me commodore!”
“He named a fish commodore too. Not that fish – a fish next to the ship.”
“As long as I’m on team ‘ram it and board it’…”
“I can’t open my mouth without someone going, ‘You can’t use an apostrophe there because it’s not an Oxford comma…'”
“No, Bryan doesn’t need to buy any shit; he gets plenty for free.”
“You know, our conversations up here can be controversial, but downstairs they’re talking about male ovarian cancer.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that showing my dick was a bad idea?”
“You’ll never be able to tweet Kevin’s face when I performed the libido dance, though.”
“I’m not sure what I distrust more – a metal ship that burns, or the little squinty bastards on board. Their eyes are too close to the ground.”
“I was going to ask if you wanted me to check that first, but instead I’m just going to stand over here.”
“No, I’ve got a better idea: ‘here’s 100 copper; I want shrapnel.'”
“Instead of coming back with money, he may come back with an equal value in, say, biological weapons.”
“I need like 50 guys. What’s the best way to go about that?”
“Put yourself in a whorehouse?”
“I don’t think John cares. I think no matter what happens, he’s going to end this campaign as a singing manta ray in a tavern someplace.”
“What happened?”
“Yamarino just ended the campaign again.”
“Oh, I need to recruit crew! Both because I need crew, and because look what it did with Bryan.”
“I heard frilly dress; I’m not wearing the frilly dress. I’m wearing the coat of the ancient mariner.”
“Beating up bards! Even better!”
“Kevin can’t get a Facebook because he hasn’t had a MySpace yet.”
“Sweet Jesus. I’m going to have to stop letting Darryl die; he’s ruining my economy.”