“It’s not that I’m saying I’m dumb; it’s that I’m surrounded by a lot more smarter people than I used to be.”
“They’re penalty squares.”
“There’s no Kacey, so there won’t be any dancing naked for cyclopses or inevitables… right?”
“Well, I wouldn’t say that…”
“So… attempt number 6 to print this character…”
“Are they gonna awaken some horrible monster that was sleeping at the heart of the mountain?”
“God, I hope so.”
“Which one do you think this group is going to get?”
“Somewhere between partial success and miserable failure.”
“Can there be a Phyrric victory so we can still call it a victory?”
“Bryan, if you’re laughing because you don’t have the spell you’re supposed to have…”
“He’s not even paying attention to me.”
“That’s because you’re going to attack me and I don’t want to see it coming.”
“Well, we’re going to get the boat that Kacey wrecked and fix it, and then we’re going to take that out to the ship and get it off the rocks where I wrecked it…”
“Beard holds food. Axe stays clean.”
“Uh… I learned a long time ago not to poke bloated corpses with a stick.”
“Fisty arrows… yeah…”
“Next time, we’re going to land the boats NOT on Corpse Beach…”
“The dice think I’m not interested.”
“The dice say I’m not interested either, but I’m slightly more interested than you.”
“Tell you what: I can uncoil the cable, and you can go back to being interesting.”
“Have you seen an extremely sparkly-looking cur?”
“I caught ghoul fever in the 70s; that was enough for me.”
“Were you BORN in the 70s?”
“No.”
“I was successful in combat! I destroyed three of them! I’m gonna die!”
“I had to be Half-Rope, and he got to be Saucy?”
“What about a sailmaker’s needle?”
“Is it made of adamantium?”
“I kick UNDEAD sand in his eyes.”
“Unless the Lacedon starts eating him.”
“That’s what I would do…”
“My work here is done.”
“YOUR work?”
“Uh… requirement. You just had a pillar of flame appear behind you. You have to turn away, put on sunglasses, and walk away slowly.”
“Oh, god. We have strippers again this week?”
“There’s one down the hole.”
“Yes, you can hear suspicious smacking sounds from down there.”
“Are you just trying to show up Darryl, see how many characters you can go through?”
“We went through all that trouble to print, and you didn’t even last 2 hours…”
“I’ve got it right here: Dying…”
“Gee, Darryl…”
“I’m surprised he doesn’t have it memorized.”
“Who’s at -10 to dex and is moving really slow? It’s meeeee…”
“You start dodging things that hit you two years ago?”
“You might want to help everyone else get away from this thing?”
“By help, do you mean shuffle slowly away from it?”
“Cardamom!”
“Yeah, it probably has someone’s mom in it…”
“I’m going to go into the water and pretend to be kelp…”
“It looks like he had a date with an iron maiden.”
“Fortunately, he has Cure Light Wounds.”
“Would you like to cast that spell?”
“No!”
“That’s what he does: the absolute minimum.”
“I can cast Mad Monkeys.”
“Is it any more helpful than your spiked pit? Because that was an enormous contribution…”
“I kinda liked you in the pit. It was working for me.”
“Why is the ship teetering on an exposed rock?”
“I don’t know; ask him.”
“I was driving and it came up out of nowhere.”
“It’s actually kind of hard to die.”
“Darryl would disagree with you.”
“What was she doing with a pound of beef?”
“She was a prepared lunatic?”
“I will buy him a new one.”
“He literally murdered someone to get this one!”
“I will murder someone for a new one.”
“We could use this time to make an armada of rafts. That was the plan at one point…”
“Bryan? Bryan, is that the look of ‘I didn’t mean to split the party, but I did’…?”
“After you guys are gone and never, ever coming back, I’ll let you in on some neat things on the island.”
“Your minions aren’t as nice as most of the people in this party, because they’re ACTUAL pirates…”
“We have ham night once a week!”
“We have a night once a week where Captain Yevheniy… never mind.”
“I believe the nautical term is ‘capsize’.”
“Uh… 13.”
“That’s hat size, you hippie.”
“He thinks Yammy is the emissary of a god. The rest of us think that Yammy’s a bottom-feeder.”
“To be fair, I was defeated by bottom-feeders once.”