“Which one do you like best?”
“Respect.”
“Why do you hang out with us?”
“So… yes, it was a murder site, but WE did not murder anyone.”
“I think ‘Taking Credit’ is your actual skill.”
“Did we kill them or something while I was on the phone?”
“Yeah, I asked them to disembark.”
“So do you know where the rank of colonel comes from?”
“Corn.”
“That requires a full healer.”
“Ooo, what’s that like?”
“Well, it ends in Phantasmal Killer…”
“So last night there was a lot of moaning coming from the caves.”
“The good kind of moaning or the bad kind of moaning?”
“It was the bad kind of moaning, in a good way? So I wasn’t sure what those zombies were doing in there, but I wasn’t going to interrupt them.”
“How many charges was that?”
“Nine…”
“I aimed poorly?”
“It must be that and not the poor fly skill I have.”
“So you Peter Pan your way over there…”
“Have we made it to the cave yet?”
“Mostly…”
“Screw this pirate noise; let’s get cake.”
“‘Totally not the same ship!’ ‘Why is the D in a different color?’ ‘We ran out of paint.'”
“Except that draining levels is a lot like kicking your friends in the balls… over and over and over again…”
“If I did not destroy the entire world, I’m disappointed in myself.”
“I’m gonna say that sounds like a bunch of 8 Intelligence bullshit.”
“Is it alchemicaling or is it spelling?”
“Neither. It’s Knowledge: Dungeoneering…”
“Paper IS wood.”
“That does not sound like Intelligence 8 talking.”
“I’ve seen the whole Boots of Spider Climb thing, and I don’t HAVE Boots of Spider Climb, so I’m throwing the monkey up on the ship.”
“They’re medicinal maggots!”
“There’s no way those are sterile.”
“She didn’t say they were sterile; she said they were medicinal.”
“I only like the popped corn maggots.”
“Please take your looting hat off; it’s frightening the children.”
“Let’s open up the rotten hammocks! I knew we needed them for something, and it wasn’t soup!”
“Rotted maggot soup night! It’s what comes after Ham Night!”
“Let’s press our luck; that sounds like a great plan!”
“No, you only have to be around Brian and have a name that isn’t easy for him to pronounce, like… Brian.”
“For the first time ever, they actually put something useful on the goddamn map.”
“So basically, we need new players, is what we’re saying.”
“And we need to go back to the beginning and not fuck up.”
“You don’t usually inspire until round three or four…”
“Collins isn’t around…”
“No, he’s downstairs.”
“We don’t talk about what happened to the druid any more.”
“You can never have too much forces; always helps in the bedroom.”
“But that can lead to rug burn.”
“It’s a democracy…”
“Oh, NOW you remember that.”
“It’s a democracy when I want it to be.”
“I would prefer to continue to mock him, rather than take away his votes.”
“So the long story is that yes, we will kill him, but there may be a few extra steps in there that might involve hacksaws and torture…”
“Are we assuming there’s a whore tunnel when there in fact is not?”
“But they have slightly more penises than the groups of prostitutes I prefer.”
“What is a penis amongst friends?”
“That would have been a terrible non-sequitor and I’m glad it didn’t happen.”
“It just so happens I have a wand of water breathing.”
“I have a wish of water breathing.”
“Well, mine’s not as cool, but both start with a wuh-wuh.”