“Think of how many horrible things politicians have said in the last five years. How many of them could have been said by CleverBot?”
“Don’t wait for me.”
“We have to wait for you; you’re the only one that does things!”
“I could argue that death is a full round action.”
“Mary T? Gave the tree syphilis as her last act? Invented botanical syphilis?”
“And you have no way of telling me when you get there if it’s the same place or not.”
“You could leave a note.”
“So if we send the corpse with them and keep the part, I can find them.”
“This is a good plan. I like it.”
“Leave a body part out when I swallow them? Got it.”
“He’s too smart for you.”
“What’s his intelligence?”
“I don’t know; let me look it up.”
“Behind every good man is a good horse. And behind every good horse is Steve West.”
“It also means we can play GURPS in the street.”
“Because I can’t tell you how often that’s come up…”
“Seems like a long series of fiascos.”
“Yeah… have you met this group?”
“The hallway fills with the smell of ozone…”
“And my hair is standing taller and I can no longer see past my moustache.”
“I don’t know; I kind of like the idea of a citric acid pit…”
“Did you just advocate temporary burial?”
“We roll the body, we push him into the pit, we leave the room, and it’s not our problem!”
“One flew back to the wizard.”
“That’s a stampede!”
“I don’t know where you get your lady dirt…”
“Let’s face it – most games, the PCs are handily able to wipe the table with the NPCs. He’s true neutral; he’s just trying to level the field.”
“His new name is Admiral Single Pube.”
“Shocking. Absolutely shocking.”
“No, that was Darryl’s turn.”
“I solve all of my family disputes with games of Yahtzee. And passive aggression.”
“Have you ever had one of those rocket batteries?”
“No, not in my mouth.”
“WHAT?!”
“Very little of the lady dirt has made it on Twitter.”
“Knowledge: Dungeoneering. Those were not dungeon creatures, and Dungeoneering does not tell you where the dungeon is.”
“Kacey’s getting attacked, by the way.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“You’re just making shit up now. Go back to calling him Bag-o-Dicks.”
“Oh! I have a spell that can fix this!”
“Invisibility Purge?”
“No, not that good.”