“Ah yes, I was looking up how to hand-wave harrowings.”
“Well, you put your hand to the left and…”
“Help me, Player One. You’re my only hope.”
“You’re not supposed to use the rules to play the game.”
“Did you just ask him if he’s seeing a therapist?”
“No, I asked if he had a Claritin or something…”
“Okay, well, this one is the least expired…”
“Holy sword of ‘this can’t possibly be a bad idea’…”
“It’s slowly seeping into my thick head that when I’m in an emergency, the last person I should listen to is myself.”
“Have you seen Waterworld?”
“Yes.”
“It’s like that, but in the desert.”
“And with cars.”
“God, I feel like I said I eat babies or something, the way you guys are reacting.”
“Did you just go ‘Lego Movie’?”
“There was Golconda and Gehenna.”
“And he was thinking of torpor.”
“‘Obviously, we haven’t seen this guy in a millennia; he must have transcended.’ But he could be in Hoboken.”
“I want to know how it is that even though we’re playing ghosts, I still ended up playing the healer…”
“My target number is 1!”
“But 1 is a botch…”
“There are two kinds of people who can make food. One is holy men, the other is the other side…”
“Farmers?”
“Rappaportopia was not a country!”
“Yes it was. It started three inches below Canada.”
“If we had a likeable villain, we would follow him.”
“I didn’t see it.”
“I know.”
“Ergo, we’re walking.”
“Somebody push the chair.”
“When the cat’s showing you one eye, that’s the other end of the cat…”
“The cat is made of people. The logic is inescapable. Much like the street we’re on…”
“Unless you have a hate coat, it’s not going to do you any good.”
“You’re just bat-shit crazy. You don’t need to explain this again…”
“You’re saying, ‘it’s a square, not a normal rectangle, you idiots.'”
“Just to give us an idea which way this is going…”
“The ancient art of slapstick?”
“You part your name on the side?”
“Uhhhhh…! I’d like to take a minute to talk to you about zoning laws…!”
“So, I prefer to think of this as he has one really vicious-looking straw…”
“‘They must be after the box!’ Because I’m not actually taking the blame for this…”
“I told you this was an ambush!”
“No, it was Ronald last round; this round it’s Roland.”
“Don’t be a dick.”
“Can’t, don’t have the equipment.”
“You don’t have to have a dick to be one.”
“Oh, right, right, now I’m supposed to keep track of what YOUR name really is…”
“Point of fact, Archie is actually following one.”
“God damn it, Bryan… every time!”