“Will this be a pants optional Call of Cthulhu game?”
“I have yet to guillotine any of my friends.”
“We were on a medium-speed pursuit.”
“I need a book that I don’t actually want.”
“Don’t look at my books!”
“He’s also told us specifically, ‘Do not pick at the rust. It’s structural rust.'”
“What do you mean by that?”
“I mean just ignore the crunching sounds from the engine bay…”
“Do you, perchance, remember how we left the Wheel?”
“Screaming?”
“I cannot verify the ability of your Rodians, but these Rodians gunned down my guards.”
“They’re Klingon hug dungeons.”
“Perhaps Captain Nihilism was a poor choice…”
“Where are the sidewalks?”
“Better yet, where are the repulsor tubes?”
“Can you call for a lift?”
“I haven’t seen this many people eager to probe me since my bachelor party.”
“And most of them were paid.”
“Can you control how much you suck?”
“No matter who runs the game, they do the same thing.”
“We’re not doing it to you; we’re just terrible people.”
“WHY DID WE MISS YOU?”
“I’ve never heard of a Wookiee described as a woodland creature…”
“Are we talking Wookiee thumb or Rodian thumb?”
“Why would the giant jungle cats pull out his blaster?”
“Really? You’re going for Lamarkian evolution there?”
“We are the selfie people.”
“No, the selfie people are descended from us.”
“There’s a few bugs in here, but the flight computer looks like it’s still intact. So someone should come get this, and I’m gonna… go find some lotion…”
“I don’t think the bugs crushed him.”
“You don’t know that.”
“Well, when I write my travel guide, my first line is going to be, ‘Don’t get stung.’ My second line is going to be, ‘Why did you come here?'”
“You just… really like saying truncheon.”
“I have strong discipline. I don’t have to imagine things like that.”
“I heard something about a tentacle-y mess. I’m not sure this is the game I signed up for.”
“Everybody gets free steriods.”
“I did take the Combat Billing specialty feat.”
“A third arboreal octopus… I didn’t make them up!”
“Oh, well, then we’re doomed! Heavy clothing is no match!”
“Oh! Arboreal octopi! Their weakness is that they can’t survive without a head.”
“In a universe full of advanced laser weapons, why are you all using primitive weaponry?”
“When you say you have to be second in line, does that mean behind the bodyguards or just second in line?”
“Second.”
“Then we’re gonna leave.”
“What if I try to fondle you?”
“I’m not guarded against you. I’ll just have to take that chance.”
“As a team, we’re going to have to trust each other not to fondle each other in combat situations.”
“So I have a problem with Scathing Tirade. It doesn’t make sense to yell at an octopus, but nowhere does it say it has to understand you.”
“You are a very poor jungle creature! You’ve made poor evolutionary choices!”
“You make poor evolutionary sense!”
“Fur and tentacles are not etiquette for this temperature!”
“You’re going for the Bigger Fish defense?”