“I don’t know where that word went, but let’s pretend that didn’t happen.”
“Left. The word went left.”
“And your mouth went right.”
“That guy’s a father. He has kids.”
“…Dagon?”
“I have 99 problems, but intelligence ain’t one?”
“I have 99 problems, but bwhibibibibibibibib?”
“Hildebrand, I do believe we are in danger.”
“How is that different than normal, sir?”
“Can I ask where you were this last weekend, ma’am?”
“If I can ask if you’re single.”
“Unfortunately, Lt. Poole has gone missing.”
“Well, why are you standing here babbling at me?”
“According to my readings, they were Deep Ones. And their father is Dagon and their mother is Hydra.”
“Snakes. And mutant frogs.”
“They know we’re on to them. I’m not sure who ‘they’ are…”
“Looking into Carlisle expedition. STOP. Need reliable investigative team. FAIL.”
“So he’s not paying us, is what I’m hearing.”
“Let me provide you with the clearest of objectives: you work for me. You go where I go. Period.”
“What we should do is steal all of his notes and leave.”
“Okay.”
“Yes! I suggest we break things until we find something useful!”
“No. We’re not looking for rupees in pots here…”
“You told me to distract.”
“I’ll be more specific next time…”
“He’s not terribly good-looking either.”
“Well, how are they built? Because when it’s dark, it doesn’t matter.”
“…Are you looking for good breeder’s hips?”
“What would you like me to roll?”
“A success.”
“It’s not really that I’m abandoning a member of the party as it is that I’m recognizing that there’s nothing I can do.”
“No, I’m just going to have to contact the mayor again.”
“I take it this has happened before…”
“No, they just don’t want her to come back.”
“Did you find, like, the handcuff site?”
“Handcuff dot org.”
“Who knew there was an entire site devoted to handcuffs.”
“We need someone with bad die rolls who we can leave behind…”
“You and me will break, she will enter.”
“What are we doing during all of this? Amassing more bail?”
“This is a voluntary conspiracy.”
“About what time do you guys want to perpetrate this shenanigan?”
“‘Plan’ is a ludicrous word for what they’re doing.”
“You should have come along.”
“Apparently, but I thought it was a terrible plan.”
“It’s a stupid plan.”
“All you’re going to hear is the flap-flap-flap of his shoes on the stone floor.”
“Nope, not even that.”
“In the corner by the coatrack, you find a sock.”
“And now you’re free!”
“That’s why in this game, I go into every encounter with an empty bladder. I find it helps.”
“Several citations for public urination, but so far, a successful investigation.”
“‘Exactly where was he publicly urinating?’ ‘That way, very quickly.'”
“Okay, Pete. I’m taking those odds. There’s a one in fifty chance I’ll shoot you.”
“Did you guys take a minute to get the IDs off those zombies to see if they’re any of the missing people?”
“I can tell by the amount of urine on the floor that I definitely didn’t recognize them. If I did, there would be more.”
“Tell my wife I love her!”
“Are you married?”
“No. I just wanted my last words to be extremely confusing.”
“Yes, my perferred firearms stance is to flail wildly, shooting at random intervals.”
“How many warrants can we rack up before we leave New York City?”
“This many.”
“Yes, you’re very casually fleeing for your life from the walking dead.”
“The cops aren’t dumb enough to be out in this weather.”
“Especially not in this neighborhood where they keep disappearing.”
“Have you been into my brandy?”
“Yes, but that has nothing to do with the zombies?”
“It wasn’t rented under my name, was it?”
(from a player) “Make a luck roll!”
“Hildebrand, we may need a new accountant. This one is defective.”