“I meant to say Olympic level, but college just kept coming out.”
“Although I feel like Miskatonic would be less likely to send me on sabbatical for…”
“Erratic behavior?”
“All those unusual experiments.”
“I’m going to donate my magic to the poor.”
“Hang on, it’s right behind the drunk part.”
“So that’s a nutmeg, which actually looks an awful lot like a wooden testacle…”
“Everywhere I turn, there’s a dog.”
“And we just have one…”
“I’m gonna regret that one later.”
“You’re gonna regret that one now.”
“I’m hearing all of these voices in my head.”
“Maybe we can convince them she’s French.”
“He talks so fast, but he’s not very persuasive. Maybe in the future, he could sell tiny toys of automobiles.”
“I don’t pay you to think!”
“You don’t pay me at all, sir.”
“That’s right, so keep your thoughts inside your eyebrows. Inside, I said!”
“Oh look, an 80s roll.”
“Well, cut the long hair and lose the spandex, and it’ll be better.”
“That would be an awesome sitcom.”
“Teenage Mutant Shark Lawyers?”
“Yeah.”
“‘What’s your phone number?’ ‘Nine purple Audi…'”
“Don’t mess with me; I brandished a painting earlier.”
“I am not a Scotsman. I am simply charged with keeping them safe from themselves.”
“If we all get sucked into the painting, it is no longer a side quest.”
“Why do I feel like I’m the one in charge at the moment, and that’s a bad thing?”
“Because you’ve forgotten all of the insanity and are coming in from the outside.”