“You’re trying to smart with a dwarf.”
“I’m trying to smart with a ranger.”
“Fair point.”
“Did the floor suddenly pitch on you?”
“No, I got dizzy looking for the tiny lines…”
“I seem to recall the proper term here was ‘shotgun coozy.'”
“Yeah, I didn’t set it on fire at all.”
“And I don’t know anyone that might have.”
“I might have…”
“Somebody’s got some spleenin’ to do.”
“And thus we lost a bellhop.”
[Discussing the British period-appropriate term for the homeless…]
“Tramp.”
“Hey, you don’t need to call me names.”
“I’m just making polite conversation.”
“He’s eight; what do you want?”
“Death metal.”
“Either I will eventually hit him or he will fall over laughing at my attempt.”
“Oh, I’m not surprised at all.”
“Are you disappointed in us?”
“Yes.”
“I was at the hospital being treated for a mugging. By an octopus. With teeth.”
“I don’t know what kind of clubs they were using, but they were odd.”
“It’s nine AM. Do you know where your liver is?”
“You hear a knock on the door.”
“I’m dressed when I answer it this time.”
“You really haven’t had time to sleep yet…”
“I didn’t say I was asleep.”
“Ah, no. This would probably not even be the first time I’ve had a knife and someone’s wallet and been avoiding the cops in London.”
“‘What kind of response were you expecting?’ I wonder aloud.”
“Is there a telephone in this warehouse?”
“No! It’s the 20s…”
“1920s emoji conversation…”
“Eldridge and Bakul… Bucky. I’ll call him Bucky.”
“Careful with him. One wrong word…”
“Are you dual-wielding your half-spear and shovel?”
“No, I’ve left the shovel. Now it’s half spear and half gun.”
“I would like to point out that previously, people thought MY ideas were bad.”
“Whatever, you want carpet, it can be carpet. You can be wrong.”
“It’s Bum-Chaser now.”
“He comes from a long line of bum-chasers…”
“I’m not sure whose turn it is to speak. Do you want to roll initiative?”
“We haven’t saved anyone yet; why should we start now?”
“That’s not true! We got Bucky, and Runs South, and…”
“I’m gonna start handing this shit out on the street out of spite. Want a priceless statue? Here you go.”
“We send postcards of the Indian Ocean, with a circle…”
“No, no, we just start sending him photos of everything that made us lose sanity.”
“Every single person here is gonna have to make a Sanity check at my body odor when we meet up.”
“Mimes? Why are you burning mimes?”
(multiple:) “Why not?”
“Because no one can hear them scream.”
“Technically they can scream. Darryl apparently only kills really dedicated mimes.”
“If they are an actual mime, they will not scream with their dying breath.”
“I bought a pig.”
“I thought it was an elephant.”
“That too.”
“Well, if you want to crash the cultist’s party…”
“It’s Fighting: Farm Implements, thank you very much.”
“Are you tired of having constant temperature in your pants? If you are, let me introduce you to the creepy five-tentacled statue…”
“This is gonna bite us in the ass so hard.”
“Which part?”