“This is going to do nothing for your hearing.”
“What?!”
“First rule of combat: kill the leaders.”
“No, the first rule of combat is ‘don’t die.'”
“Most systems seem to go out of the way to punish you for standing up for no reason.”
“Have you seen me try to stand up?”
“The lightest armor above nudity?”
“It’s called ‘cloth robe.'”
“Pants.”
“Hope is not a plan!”
“Hope is what we’ve got, hippie.”
“You’re not seriously going to run out there with 2 hit points…?”
“If your plans involve the word ‘hope…'”
“But he’s still moving?”
“Oh, no. There was one last, final twitch.”
“You see a seeping wound in the shape of a halfling over there. It’s mostly halfling, but there’s a LOT of blood.”
“But I also got her on the ground… where I wanted her. I mean… how much damage?”
“Dammit. ‘Never leave a man behind.’ There’s something about that…”
“Never leave a living man behind?”
“You take out his Achilles heel – ”
“I was aiming a little higher.”
“Okay, you take out his Achilles testicle…”
“No, it’s a double-ended crescent [wrench]. Imperial, not metric.”
“Put a little thought into that?”
“Yep.”
“Tl;dl? Too long, didn’t listen?”
“They only had so much to work with – they couldn’t put the crenelations on!”
“We can’t salt the earth that way. Not the whole earth.”
“Yeah, that’s a lot of salt.”
“I wasn’t talking salt; I was thinking fire.”
“Good. Because I like salt, and that seems like a waste.”
“Look, you have your explanation, and I have mine.”
“That would be Doctor Orc-tapus, thank you.”
“I need an explosive device.”
“I don’t know that I concur with that statement.”
“In the meantime, you can carry this.”
“Mmm… no, that will interfere with my…”
“Mojo?”
“Waving my arms around in a panic.”