“Okay, out of respect for the 20 years or so I’ve been gaming with you guys, I have been refraining from making burger jokes for WEEKS.”
“I don’t think I made a check. I think I was just bad at role-playing.”
“I wasn’t sure if it was his wife or his cat.”
“Saying ‘chicken wing, chicken wing’?”
“Well, yeah.”
“You know, I thought tonight I’ll roll well for initiative.”
“What did you roll?”
“Ten.”
“He looks like a noble – “
“Natural 20 and unnatural 20.”
“He looks like a splat on the ground.”
“You know what the best part of humans is? Their groin is at axe-level.”
“You can’t set fire to a single room!”
“I’m pretty sure you can.”
“We murdered her husband. We weren’t in a hurry to talk to her.”
“I only have detect, not dispel.”
“What kind of counter-speller are you?!”
“I only have two third-level spells, and I wanted a hut!”
“Why is Ramos my natural enemy in this group? My rival? He doesn’t even like boots.”
“I have two humans worth of gore on me. I’m going to…”
“Teleportation magic is what?”
“Explosive.”
“What’s the magic poem?”
“Hickory dickory I’m not telling you!”
“You fingered it last week.”
“No, if I had fingered it, you would know. I leave a mark!”
“I’m petting my skeletal cat like some kind of disturbing Blofeld.”
“I’m just trying to gauge how much murder you have left in you.”
“Let’s have a ritual about how cool our rituals are.”
“I set the table back up, slightly perturbed that I didn’t get to flip it.”
“Think angsty, emo teenager.”
“Okay, I feel less bad now.”
“Once he was blown up, I don’t think he’s really that concerned about the cat.”
“I have that. I was going to say that joke anyway, but I actually have that.”
“It is a flaw that I get mad and very competitive about shoes!”
“I feel like you’re super-lucky.”
“We’re certainly not lucky to the towns we go to.”
“Glyph of warding… Ooo, it’s abjuration. Hot!”
“…Why is glyph of warding hot?”
“If we come across a river, I think I will try to find it the skeleton of a fish.”
“The logic… it’s impeccable…”