“You basically had to have the mental powers of a stage magician to mind-control us.”
“And I stroked the curtains the whole way.”
“Sometimes even with your hands.”
“One question into the interrogation…”
“And he’s already got me. Yeah.”
“Maybe it’s the quest we have to destroy him – I mean, HELLO, WHAT A LOVELY PLACE SETTING.”
“What kind of host would he be if he poisoned his guests?”
“A vampire! He’s a vampire!”
“He brought you pancake syrup!”
“You’re seriously wanting to become the cobbler to the Count?”
“I think he brought us here to harm us, because you don’t prepare entertainments with quotes around it unless you intend to hurt someone.”
“The point is, I’m not legally allowed to dance; I don’t have a license.”
“Oh, I thought this was Footloose.”
“Right, it’s the remake of Footloose that everyone always allowed – with vampires.”
“You know, I like Gil Fishman. He was an example to us all… of how not even a Wish spell can get you respect from your friends.”
“I don’t think he’s ‘Mad Dog’ Strahd.”
“I haven’t studied vampiric interior decorating.”
“You mean fang shui?”
“To be fair, paper doesn’t fare well against most elemental attacks. I mean, I haven’t tried it against necrotic damage…”
“I asked if the food was safe; I didn’t ask if the house was safe. Stupid, stupid, stupid.”
“Are you going to Shatter?”
“Well, that depends on how we count radius.”
“So we can huddle up like two platonic friends taking a nap and be out of the radius?”
“That’s okay – I had a complex plan involving Web…”
“Well, I was going to delay the reaction, because I don’t think it helps to web all the bricks and not get you…”
“I hand him a beet.”
“What?”
“I got a beet from somewhere; it’s on my character sheet. I hand it to him.”
“I prepare to hand him the beet.”
“That has to be the weirdest readied action ever.”
“I’m not saying you went the wrong direction; I’m saying you went a direction I didn’t prepare for.”
“The master mentioned there’d be openings for more servants soon! I can see why!”
“It’s ok – he wouldn’t have told you anything.”
“And he wouldn’t take my beet.”
“I don’t trust fog. You can’t touch it. Usually you can smell it. You can’t see through it.”
“I’m used to my bones being bleeped.”
“Nobody said it had to be in one piece.”
“I think the dragon wants it back in one piece.”
“We have glue.”
“Maybe we should not dispel the house from the basement. Maybe it’s a load-bearing enchantment.”
“We need a tarp!”
“The ultimate cloaking technology!”
“So, why are we trying to cover the dragon’s skull? Who are we trying to fool?”
“Sweet. So it turns out it’s not as easy as walking in, taking what we wanted, and walking right back out…”
“Well, you just have to cast a limited Shatter…”
“Everyone grab a side of the skull and let’s do that thing where we run really fast, but don’t go anywhere until we suddenly shoot off.”
“I didn’t think there was a fucking Ravenloft Uber.”
“I already made that joke.”
“I know. I was just showing you that a better delivery can make it fall not quite as flat.”
“Unless it was another dragon. They’d probably be like, ‘Hey, man, those guys have Dave’s head!'”
“Oh, so if it’s looking eastward… the statue has a head?”
“So there’s no law against dancing without a license – they just told you that to get you to stop dancing?”
“Yes!”
“I thought you were legitimately a dancer and we were assholes!”
“No! I legitimately made a bad dancer!”
“You cannot be redeemed with all that loot and XP in your body…”