“You’re going the Bryan route?”
“I’m going the Kacey route: high performance, low ability.”
“Radiant damage is people.”
“The one that crit me. I want to have a conversation with him.”
“He’s wild surgin’. As opposed to wild sturgeon.”
“Or wild surgeon.”
“Or you could stab him. Do you have something to stab him with?”
“Yeah. A crossbow.”
“Don’t worry about massive damage.”
“Oh, I wasn’t going to. I wasn’t going to tell you, either.”
“Oh, do you speak Draconic?”
“No! I don’t speak anything! And even if I could read it, I couldn’t tell anyone what it says. Because I don’t speak.”
“Maybe the wolf speaks Draconic.”
[We created a beacon of light]
“Well, that’s gonna piss off ol’ Strahd.”
“Do giant moths start coming?”
“I have… Find Familiar. Is it my familiar?”
“I gave you the important parts!”
“No, you didn’t! I have those bloody useless, pointless notes! They’re in that bin on the end! ‘There are problems with turtles!'”
“Can you use a sword?”
“I can. I can use it as a crutch. I can use it as a toothpick, once.”
“And I’ve been hit less than you.”
“You also joined later.”
“What about nipples?”
“I don’t know. I’m asking him to explain his religion to me…”
“I would like to go to Nippleheim when I die. Sign me up, sir!”
“So I think I’ll just stick to my shield and one-handed weapon – or the dwarf steals the peach maneuver.”
“Oh, I bet the mother’s milk will help you sleep. Would you like some? I have no idea what it’s going to do…”
“What have we learned?”
“Fire is hot!”
“Also… don’t touch the fire?”
“Look, no one knew it was dangerous until I tested it.”
“…We had suspicions.”
“No, we did. Because he tried to convince Strahd to make him his own personal bootmaker.”
“I said I needed a lunch! I’m not prepared for this! I got set of fire by myself!”
“You can’t go wrong with a tiny hut.”
“You can. You can memorize that spell instead of a useful one.”
“Well, I think it’s just an opposed strength roll to start, and then we figure out all the fleshy parts.”
“He’s touching me! And whispering draconic in my ear!”
“Because after I took the damage from walking through the fire, I remembered… ‘Oh, yeah – I have Dimension Door. And I can take 1 person with me.'”
“To be fair, I injured myself before we chose to go through the fire.”
“We’re ok, though! I learned many years ago that big birds are only worried about counting!”