“I’d like to point out that it wouldn’t take nearly that much effort to dispatch me, if you had to.”
“Go lick ANYTHING ELSE!”
“Sweet. I am awesome on perception, but today… I rolled a 3.”
“I come from a long line of jerks.”
“We’re going to Wile E Coyote out of here?”
“Technically, it was his exile that caused this whole ‘Splitboulder rolling down the hill’ scenario.”
“Obsidian field sounds prettier.”
“But wargs are pretty too. Very soft.”
“The ones we’re about to see are a lot prettier inside out.”
“Imagine if you had something half your size bouncing up and down on your back and poking you in the neck.”
“I mean, there’s situations where that’s fun…”
“We haven’t invented the tater tot yet.”
“That means they’ll be near.”
“Because that’s what proximity means!”
“You just learned that word, didn’t you?”
“Worse than that, he didn’t give him a proper name.”
“Luag isn’t a proper name?”
“It’s not an orc name.”
“I mean, it’s nicer than Yipping Stump.”
“It had one foul-smelling fruit.”
“Ah, allow me to clear that up. From down here, it’s clear that he has two fruits.”
“I will unironically thank the tree.”
“This is why you can’t give directions on the plains – the trees move.”
“There are a variety of spiels. I go through the minimum possible spiel to not cause offense.”
“Silly human – no, sorry, silly orc.”
“I’m pretty sure it’s silly cartographer, to put the map on the page sideways.”
“I would like to invent the rude gesture once they turn their back.”
“He is odious and foul.”
“Then he is a project!”
“Did you kill a stag… to make a stag?”
“Yes.”
“Why didn’t you just… ride the stag?”
“I have an idea.”
“We cut its head off.”
“No.”
“I have an idea – and this one is a serious idea. I knew the moon idea was silly.”
“Spider-stone, spider-stone/Lying on the ground like a spider stone.”
“I would like to point out that the number of things in this world that can’t kill you dead can be counted on one hand.”
“Halflings…?”
“You’re the only one that has ‘kill the stag-thing’ on the list.”
“I don’t think I am.”
“It’s possible that the stag is lying because he knows he hates it.”
“I hate this guy.”
“Which makes me laugh, Kacey, because in another game, you could have played him.”
“I don’t believe this guy, I don’t believe what he’s saying…”
“Do you believe in the end of the world?”
“I’m on the fence about that.”
“And to be honest, stones of life and death could be very chatty.”
“Is it something I’m not going to like.”
“No. It’s not bad. It’s hard work.”
“Is it math?”
“We count to 10! When we get to 11, that guy leaves, finds a wife, and starts a new tribe.”
“No one wants to be picked up by a quezoquatl.”
“I mean, no one wants to be picked up by a mammoth.”
“Well…”
“No, no, we’re going to be romantically involved – I don’t want to start a fight with her.”