“You know, it’s still on the table.”
“You’re in a chair.”
“Greyshame doesn’t have a lot of prospects. But he has a lot of seed. He doesn’t believe in self-depositing!”
“I – I can’t.”
“You can.”
“The wheels are just spinning, but the hamster has died.”
“See, I don’t know if – between our species, if we can…”
“There’s only one way to find out.”
“Again, with sufficient innovation and a tall rock…”
“You’re also not doing a great job of wooing me.”
“I’m a god. I mean, how much work did Zeus do?”
“I think Kevin is waiting for us to stop being silly. At least we’re speaking in character and sort-of playing.”
“Waiting for y’all to stop being silly is going to take much longer…”
“As you look up at the burning eye above you – or the butthole, depending on your perspective.”
“We should abandon both the boat and the wedding planning…”
“This is the wrong campaign to have a megalomaniacal character.”
“No, it’s the right campaign. We need evil gods too.”
“You know what…? He’s embracing his destiny.”
“I have no mythology prepared for this. All my bullshit went into wedding planning.”
“You’ll live that down one day, Bryan. We’ll all be dead…”
“I notice that your brain stops every time you talk.”
“That assumes it started to begin with.”
“Fifty shades of Greyshame?”
“Tonight’s notes are going to be more incomprehensible than most.”
“I mean, I’m pretty sure there’s an elf with its hand in my pants right now, but I’m just letting it go.”
“What are you talking about? All twins are named with names that rhyme. It’s tradition.”
“No wonder your people are so angry all of the time.”
“Ah, good. Apparently our engagement is going to make me immortal. Because time has just stopped.”
“So you’re the god of necessary maliciousness? I can work with that.”
“And I absolved all of my follower of the guilt.”
“All of your follower?”
“Maybe… maybe let’s not argue with the shaman in the middle of the ritual.”
“Nothing could EVER go wrong!”
“Yeah, forging a link between spiders and elves? The priestesses are happy to take the egg sack…”
“And you don’t leave it there long enough for your opponent to notice.”
“Which for you was like seven years?”
“No, I need to kill something.”
“So let’s kill the unkillable?”
“I was thinking breakfast.”
“So when you were saying the sacrifice needs to be scaled, you weren’t talking about a deinonychus.”
“The moon is just a jealous shadow of the sun…”
“This is why he did so well with her the first time.”
“I’ve breathed the same air twelve times!”
“Have you tried moving around?”
“Yes!”
“You don’t value my children! I know this!”
“You haven’t had them yet! Wait until I see their beautiful ugly faces!”
“Wait, so you’re just calling yourself a god?”
“No, I’m talking about a totally different orphaned orc.”