“Oh, right! I need dice. So I can roll them when I need to stall for time.”
“I’m sure it’s fine.”
“That’s the second person you’ve seen that was supposed to be dead.”
“Third.”
“Yeah, but does Roger really count?”
“At no point has that body looked like it should be okay.”
“At any point when you were carrying the body around did it feel like a sack of spiders?”
“Weren’t you not supposed to attend funerals anymore?”
“Not since that one.”
“We need to go by the church.”
“We need to burn down Roger’s house.”
“I’m not sure we’re one of us…”
“It’s a good day to go outside your crack house.”
“We’re going to investigate a hole. With shovels and napalm.”
“And the weird corpse with the crystal growing out of it that’s in my trunk that is currently listed under ‘equipment’ on my character sheet.”
“I’m surprised you don’t want to burn the hose down, Mr. ‘I turned my truck into a flamethrower.'”
“Better than us dealing with it. I’m sure they made better choices than we did.”
“It’s the sparkliest grave rob ever.”
“‘I’m gonna turn over a new leaf!’ 97 seconds later… ‘I’m done!'”
“Was he like Roger?”
“No, he was like Mr. Blackburn.”
“Yeah, when you have to line up exorcisms for trucks, things get kind of strange.”
“I mean, she’s not disturbing the grave. She’s just lying down and listening to the ground with a stethoscope.”
“You’re a good samaritan, sir?”
“Watch what you call me.”
“I guess it was some kind of 24 hour bug.”
“Fish.”
“Yeah, it was a 12 hour fish.”
“This is my holy dustpan!”
“Does Mark even know how to vacuum?”
“Yeah, you just push this thing back and forth until you’re done.”
“There’s no bomb! We made them leave! They took the bomb with them!”
“Who placed the call?”
“I did. From a payphone. With gloves on.”
“‘Fuck the police’ is elegantly scripted into the carpet, like some kind of vacuum savant descended.”
“He doesn’t have parents in this dimension – I mean, here.”
“Walking over your grave, calling in bomb threats over your grave… same thing.”
“Why would we do that?”
“You brought an awful lot of gas to Roger’s house. And I feel like you’re trying really hard to get me to go away.”
“It was like when we brought you back, right? Except instead of singing, there was a sewage pump?”
“I miss when we were just sewer arsonists.”
“The profile of a mental breakdown…”
“You know how I was un-forgetting things? I’m also un-remembering them.”
“That’s called forgetting.”
“You’re my best friend. I’d steal a body for you any day.”
“You said you’d help me hide a body.”
“I did.”
“I’d like to call in that favor.”
“Wait, how’d your job interview go?”
“He’s dead. He’s been dead for like three days.”
“That was so Rick!”
“Staying in character, even in scenes he’s not in.”
“But it sounds like you know where that body is!”
“No.”
“But you saw him, so he’s not lost!”
“Yeah! It’s a platonic plate thing!”
“There was a bomb scare?”
“There was a bomb scare at the church. You’d better not go back; Anders was really mad.”
“So either somebody stole the stolen body and replaced it with a similar weight of gravel, or the body transformed into gravel.”
“Obviously the realm of time is something our scientists don’t have a lot of experience with – “
“You’re starting to sound like Mark.”
“I did some reading, okay?”