“I’m just blasting ‘where is everyone?’ on the psychic link, and then I’m shutting it down.”
“So next question is, did I fill my flask the last time or did you?”
“That’s the power of Mark right there: remembering yesterday what hasn’t happened yet.”
“You would think a security guard would have searching and seeing. But no, they have brawling and grappling.”
“I dated a security guard.”
“So the real question is, what the hell ARE we listening to?”
“I have to concentrate on hitting the broad side of a barn with a bazooka if I’m standing inside of it, so I’m keeping a close eye on my target.”
“Isn’t that what SMG stands for? Special Moisture Gun?”
“Okay, so, it’s dark, it’s sticky, there’s something that’s only barely identifiable as music playing, and now the fire alarm is going off. It’s got a strobe effect. This is the worst rave you’ve ever been to.”
“Not really.”
“It’s the worst rave you’ve ever been to sober.”
“I’m gonna have to learn to fight at some point.”
“If you’re actually helping them, it’s not deception.”
“So… we have the dog-man werewolf puddle – because that’s not worrying…”
“Unless you have a specialization in hairspray, this will just be accuracy.”
“But there is in fact fire in the electronics department.”
“That’s going to be the name of my punk band.”
“Does it make sense? No. Does anything in the game make sense? Not a bit.”
“‘You can confound someone so much that they can’t react.’ I read this and went, ‘Why does Mark not have this?'”
“Decompiled the dog?”
“That’s what it did to itself earlier.”
“I do not have performance.”
“She has ukelele, though.”
“If she had the ability to play the ukelele, I’d remove the negative…”
“And now, there’s only the sound of the sirens and the terrible duet of the cousins, with the upcoming rockin’ ukelele solo by someone who doesn’t know how to play the ukelele.”
“He’s got a rotisserie chicken.”
“Sweet. Leaving the scene is key. Is there another chicken?”
“Well, he climbs up on the roof and eats chicken, watching the Walmart burn.”
“I have intentionally had far fewer penises in this game than the books would have you believe.”