“I just keep writing down random assemblages of letters, and I don’t remember who they were…”
“It’s warmer than a bunch of napalm eggs in a deep freeze should be – you’ve got a lot of experience with napalm eggs in a deep freeze.”
“Is he your wife? Or rather, is he wearing her like a suit?”
“Oh. He was not Steve; he was Not-Steve.”
“I know what you can do to help. What you can do is let us out of this basement place.”
“Actually…”
“Among the many things you can do to help…”
“I bet if we play AC/DC, he’ll come.”
“Just a giant mass of burning holy water.”
“The portal has to be open first.”
“…Oh, right.”
“We’ve got to find this portal, stop the band, send the band back…”
“Send back their merchandise!”
“You’ve met your quota this month. You’re going to have to wait for next month until you can make more holy water.”
“So you’re giving us an extra week.”
“Sure.”
“Sometime on the future, I’ll be short a week and wonder why…”
“To be fair, most people wouldn’t be putting pins in Easter eggs.”
“It’s a roulette wheel of churros.”
“The stairs are waning, rather than waxing.”
“I’m not even sure this is Roger’s house anymore.”
“We could check to see if it’s flammable.”
“Quiiiit.”
“We just screwed Roger out of existence again.”
“It does smell, but it doesn’t smell like evil. It just smells like someone abandoned their house 25 years ago.”
“I have a theory… Maybe I don’t have a theory.”
“Don’t exorcise the Prius.”
“This is where it would be really good to play AC/DC on the drums. Which I can’t do. Nor do I have drums.”
“Logically, if you make three rights, you should end up back where you were.”
“…No…”
“I’m not gonna give you a bonus, because a ukelele isn’t the appropriate tool for ‘Thunderstruck’.”
“You didn’t necessarily notice because you’re in waders – “
“I’m not wearing waders.”
“You didn’t necessarily notice because you’re between waders…”
“So… I was watching a thing the other day on matter and antimatter. I don’t think I want that.”
“You definitely want to make sure that your saving the world roll is a single roll.”
“It’s either the perfect or the most useless weapon ever.”
“Dang it. I really am between waders – assuming I get some in the future.”
“I picked up Perception: Tasting. It seemed appropriate.”
“It’s never appropriate!”
“Plus, you can’t put holy water inside a wooden bat.”
“Well, you can, but you have to drill holes in it, and it just ruins the experience.”
“I’m just the voice of reason here.”
“We are so doomed.”
“Which one of you two is…”
“The smart one?”
“I didn’t suggest that you just rub your freaking brain on it!”
“The fish weren’t screaming in pain.”
“True. They were saying ‘home.'”
“Yeah, there was more a sense of desperation.”
“And language.”
“Ferg said we were looking for a giggalo counter…?”
“Geiger counter.”
“Volunteered? Sacrificed? I couldn’t put them together.”
“Volon-ficed?”
“Yeah, that didn’t work. It sounded like pasta.”
“Well, uh… hang in there? Best of luck with your multidimensional friend.”
“I’m so sorry. I never meant for any of that to happen.”
“That happens to me a lot.”
“It’s just the psychic version of poking it with a stick.”
“Thrandfular.”
“Thrandfular.”
“Thrandfular.”
“Thranduil.”
“No.”
“I mean, we did help Rick. We eventually helped him so much that he ran off and left us behind.”
“Well, on the bright side, Mark, we had already all agreed that it would be a bad idea for you to have children.”
“I’ve got a radioactive rod right here, and I think you know hwat I mean.”
“No, you’re just a radioactive tool.”
“I’m fine! I’m sure geiger counters do that for lots of people.”
“You’re not making it worse. That’s our new life goal.”
“The easy way to not make it worse is to stop!”
“That would make it better.”