“After drinking for 72 hours, you’re damn right you have to go.”
“How many bantha can I get while super-drunk for 25,000 credits?”
“Yeah, but if you’re buying them from me, we have to switch game systems, because they’re 2500 credits in a different game system.”
“It’s still Imperial credits, isn’t it?”
“I didn’t realize that lightsabers were Poke-masters.”
“We’re all inside a giant Poke-ball, and the lightsabers are summons… I’ve gone too far down that rabbit hole, haven’t I.”
“I mean, I don’t know why Tattooine. It just seemed like the kind of place that an old, withered Jedi would go…”
“Quick, check your prison wallet!”
“At least I didn’t say it.”
“What’s the mediocre-ist bar around here? Hey, I have standards.”
“I don’t think there’s a mediocre-ist…”
“Is there some kind of contact high from being around Force users?”
“There can be.”
“I’m not one of your students – don’t be cryptic at me.”
“You finally found a student who will write down your lessons.”
“In my experience, there’s no such thing as dumb luck.”
“But there is dumb.”
“Do I have to put it in my ear?”
“You have to treat it like every other comlink.”
“We have kitten accelerators? What have you been tinkering with on this ship?”
“We have a ship’s cat.”
“To keep the ship’s mice under control…?”
“You never know what’s going to come out of Tycho’s room.”
“I taught the mice to be pacifists.”
“Hammerhead, Anchorhead… whatever.”
“We lift off. We wave goodbye to Tattooine. We swear once again that we’re not coming back.”
“If you were ever going to regret putting tassels on all the controls, now is the time.”
“Tycho is navigating and the cat is helping.”
“Fifty percent of that is true.”
“…Do you really want me to guess?”
“Oh! We can put the cat in one of the gun turrets. Nothing bad can happen if we do that!”
“Oh, that’s easy. You’re the captain, she’s the first mate… I believe that means the cat is the second mate.”
“Right. So you all have to take orders from the cat now.”
“PSST. Psst psst!”
“Or, you know, sometimes you sober up enough to remember.”
“That’ll never happen.”
“One might call us tomb afficianados. But definitely not tomb raiders, because that is trademarked and copyrighted.”
“Tycho… this is the Force… this is the Force telling you to bring the popcorn to the cockpit…”
“About ten minutes later, a female Keldor in a black…”
“Negligee?”