“Are you pro Vader and the Emperor surviving?”
“No.”
“That was a long pause.”
“And there’s all the proof I needed to know that I’M not the problem when plans go wrong.”
“Well, the important part is to get them apart.”
“…Yeeees. That’s exactly what we’re working on.”
“I don’t think they’re here to kill us. If they are, then we could learn a couple of things from them.”
“Classic misdirection. I should write a book. ‘You Only Think You Know Where I’m Going, Just Like Me.'”
“Twenty-two.”
“How much faster do you need to go, man?”
“Twenty-three. Because I could have only put a single pip into it.”
“Wait, were we stunning people?”
“I stun people. Stunning is cool.”
“I bet our ship is not seaworthy anymore.”
“Our ship was never seaworthy. We tried that. It wasn’t good.”
“We’ll let you pass!”
“Out. We’ll let you pass out.”
“I don’t really want to sweat today. That’s why I’m convincing everyone to give up.”
“If you give up and walk away, we won’t humiliate you. We haven’t killed anyone yet; we’ve just made them feel really bad about it.”
“You can’t actually see the cadets.”
“But I know they’re there. I can hear them peeing.”
“I’m going to heal you on my next turn.”
“Stealing my drama…”
“I attempt to patch myself into the communications system of the ship they’re entertaining themselves on.”
“We’re best friends! …I have to say that.”
“Because he’s healing you?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m just wondering if there’s a different damage code for just leaving it there. Like broiling. Is there a broil roll?”
“Shoot now, talk trash later.”
“That should really be an axiom…”
“Okay… to cut through your narrative, is the star destroyer heading into the sun?”
“…Yes.”
“I’m saving Jo-Li and the Sith holocrons. And the moss collection.”
“And the alcohol collection.”
“And the cat.”
“I do not have a surprise round against Vader.”
“Oh, there’s gonna be some surprises.”
“You know, we do have one advantage over Luke. He’s not our father.”
“To be fair, we didn’t crash our ship. The tractor beams crashed our ship.”
“Don’t make me interface with the ship again; I’m BUSY.”
“OK, this is petty. I’m going to go for his arm, but on the way, I’m going to try and catch his cloak. Because rayon burns like a motherfucker.”
“You’re going to give him PTSD?”
“I turn on Danger Sense. ‘That wall’s gonna explode.’ ‘Oh. I have post-congnition Danger Sense.'”