“I’m trying to think of anything I can do with this. Anything. I could go fuck with the trees, but that doesn’t even sound fun.”
“But why would he play in the water?”
(a pause while everyone just… looks… at the speaker)
“Yeah, you’re right.”
“To be fair, half of that is what Pathfinder dumps on you anyway. You know, like clothes.”
“I would prefer you keep those.”
“Someone’s bowling.”
“I hope not. Someone may end up pinned.”
“Undead baking bread.”
“The bread can’t die.”
“But it is risen.”
“How sad is it that I’m slower than zombies.”
“It all happens to us sometimes, Darryl.”
“Initiative dysfunction?”
“You made a math happen far better than the rest of us were going to.”
“You made a math happen faster than I did.”
“Did you add the flanking bonus?”
“These guys don’t get flanking.”
“That’s ok. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway.”
“Ohh, salt in the wound.”
“I should have raised my shield to keep the gore off.”
“Do you know how much getting this armor patched for free costs me?”
“Aww, now he looks gross.”
“As opposed to?”
“He’s all melty now!”