“You can’t fix stupid.”
“Thanos could have.”
“Technically, all VW Beetles are on fire in some way.”
“I keep thinking Steve West should make a comeback.”
“He’s not a hero.”
“He is to some people.”
“Zero horses.”
“Dark Sun happens because we played in this world.”
“At some point, you should be the cleric in the party, so you can see why I stopped.”
“We did it twice, Bryan. We erased the rest of the game twice.”
“I think experience has shown that when we have three people in on something, it’s terrible.”
“To be fair, experience has shown that when we have two people in on something…”
“Kevin, you’re with us, right?”
“What?”
“To be halflings.”
“No. I’ll be the GM.”
“Darn. I was hoping to get God on our side.”
“He’s way more mortal than I am.”
“You are the least likely to become followers of these two.”
“I’m not going to become the follower of these two yahoos. I’m not even convinced they’re gods.”
“Just because he can manifest things out of blood doesn’t mean he’s not a crazy person.”
“That’s my class in D&D: pizzamancer.”
“Any magical effect in 30 minutes or less or it’s free?”
“I don’t understand. Kevin usually only hates my characters if he’s running the game.”
“You know why he thinks I’m a god? Because I don’t want it.” whispered “I really want it.”
“Can’t go wrong with Sammy Hagar.”
“Yes, you can. You can go incredibly wrong with Sammy Hagar.”
“What Sammy Hagar reference?”
“I can’t take 55… damage.”
“There’s no place for initiative on this character sheet.”
“Put it next to Intuition like I did.”
“No. That’d be chaos.”
“What the hell just happened?”
“You know what? I can’t be trusted.”
“Ooh, you’re going to mind control the mind-controller?”
“…No. I’m going to study a spoon because it’s pretty.”
“Top of the round!”
“No, it is not.”
“Ohh, you’re right!”
“It’s almost as though I knew it was my turn.”
“I tried to use it once before, but I failed to hit a bridge! I failed to fail at driving!”
“You wouldn’t have brought bits back! You failed to bring the car back! You called to tell him where it was a week later!”
“How does power armor help group therapy?!”
“Well. That went… places.”
“Yeah. Let’s get back to this charade of a superhero game.”
“He was the most irritating player – “
“That means we’re not the most annoying players!”
“You know, most rangers have animal friendship – I have animal romanticism.”
“Animal friendship with benefits.”
“Look, we don’t have our own private prison… Business opportunity. Market gap.”
“So I’m teleporting a teleportation device…”
“You know, you’re a lot less godlike now that you’ve settled down.”
“Did you think he was the god of homeless people? Is that it?”
“Yes!”
“That’s actually simpler than I thought it was!”
“You mean you thought they actually went to their jobs?!”
“YES!”
“He’s at least a vacuum cleaner.”
“Your technology has advanced far enough that I cannot tell the difference between a magical construct and a technological one, so I recognize his existence as a being.”
“XAIR, tell me if I’m not understanding this correctly, but can you get into the tubes and steal all of their money.”
“Remind me again – is it faster to text you or bleed?”
“Just hit the call button and say ‘ow.'”
“Look, you let the ancient goddess go in by herself. She did the best she could.”
“In mid-air, they turn into something that looks vaguely like squid.”
“Yes! Are they metallic?”
“Yes, they can be metallic.”
“YES!”
“Squid launcher! OH YEAH!”
“So somewhere, there’s a demi-plane where Gill Fishman is respected.”
“Not loved, not appreciated – respected.”
“Back me up here – fire is a good distraction.”
“Absolutely. Fire is a great distraction.”
“And if that doesn’t work, then we go to plan ‘trillion dollars of damage each time they come after us.'”
“I was going to say plan B was make it so he can’t be tracked…”
“So how are we going to finish this without punching things or blowing things up?”