“Oh, Roscoe’s my brother? I always forget which one’s my brother and which one’s my fiance.”
“It is a dimetrodon-sized eraser; you can make dimetrodon-sized mistakes.”
“It’s my general assumption that if I want to do something, you’re going to oppose it.”
“So he’s not Elvish – he’s an Elvish impersonator?”
“Some of us can’t see in the dark. By some, I mean… me.”
“You don’t know – your coworkers might be taking your characters on adventures without you.”
“Somebody’s playing with the light switch.”
“We haven’t even invented it yet!”
“Palad, I need a climbing rope.”
“Go-go-magic butt string.”
“Its extruders are not a Saturn-V rocket, okay?”
“I hope the tower doesn’t have defenses.”
“No, it has de walls.”
choke-laugh
“You deserved that.”
“The inverted elf. The Fle.”
“Mm-mm. Stop trying to make Fle happen.”
“That caused me $1.50, sir.”
“And I’ve gotten at least $1.50 of enjoyment out of it.”
“I don’t know how you get snake eyes on 2 d20, but I did.”
“The ship of atheists is a totally different ship.”
“Not really holding, more like awkwardly placed.”
“Why would you let it pick up a shield?!”
“It has no dragon listing in this book.”
“You have a pencil.”
“I have a Sharpie.”
“Do you want a sticky note?”
“Is he an asp-hole?”
“No, he’s not. He’s a constrictor.”
“So if you hit him with a stick.”
“Or a frying pan.”
“Or a halfling.”
“I’ve already given it a name. It’s name is Magic Shield. It’s original, because there are no other magical shields in the universe.”
“I’d like to spread the good news to you about spiders.”