“If that fight had gone worse, I was prepared to swallow it. I might have burst into flames, but that would have made a great distraction.”
“The right one to open?”
“The best one to open.”
“You ask your questions, I’ll ask mine.”
“I wonder if Talfin could drink the stairs…”
“Look, you’ve already alarmed the Australians once.”
“Well, that’s a note I’m going to have to write that’s not going to make sense later.”
“I kind of want to pop the bubble and see what happens to the sun.”
“Stop reading my mind.”
“At this point, we’re assuming he’s just inside.”
“Foolish assumption.”
“Have you met us?”
“They may be intelligent.”
“Or hungry.”
“Or both.”
“Well, my saliva’s not acidic.”
“Not yet.”
“Paladins at 9th level get acidic saliva, right?”
“That was enlightening.”
“That was fun!”
“I have a beard…”
“…Interesting theology you’re coming up with – that the center of the world is full of snakes.”
“Yeah, don’t open that; you’ll regret it.”
“You know, it used to be that when you said ‘the moon,’ I knew what you were talking about.”
“There are more than 11.”
“There are enough moons, they need to start a new village?”
“I guess we should do funerary rites for the bird man and snake man, too.”
“Fuck those guys.”
“You don’t want angry spirits following us…”
“Bring it on.”
“Keep them from harming others.”
“Yes. The wrong others. But not them. They’re the right others.”
“It has a name; I just can’t remember what it is.”
“Herman.”
“Yes. Herman the rock.”
“I wish I had a camera out. ‘This is what Kacey gets up to at our D&D games: he’s a barbarian princess.'”
“Ranger!”
“We have a guy that has ‘beast of burden’ as a class feature.”
“Yeah, but he’s not here.”
“I meant the dimetrodon, not the halflings!”
“Gotta admit, I’m also very well-known for missing the obvious. It’s very much in character for me to have missed that.”
“No name can ever be reused.”
“Ever?”
“Ever.”
“Ever?!”
“Ever.”
“Look, if we’re going to start getting into Rappaportopia levels of underground…”
“What if the sun is mooning us the whole time?!”
“Then it never changes its ass!”
“It’s just farting plasma at us the whole time.”
“Yeah, if you want to pray to the great big anus in the sky, go ahead.”
“I haven’t taken a lot of notes – because as you can see, it’s half of one of these tiny pieces of paper…”
“I would like to save everyone. And I’m part of everyone, so…”
“Saving the world is probably more important than saving a handful of slaves.”
“To be fair, we’ve already saved half a handful, so we’ve done pretty good.”
“Plus, it was very hot.”
“And the desert is not…?”
“The desert is not fueled by burning rock.”
“I relent. Just remember that I relented if I become a darker person.”
“Same.”
“That is a tree.”
“No, it can’t be. Because I don’t know how to read the word tree.”
“I wasn’t asking for an argument – I was asking for a plan.”
“Oh, you’re asking for an argument.”
“Slippers of centipede climbing?”
“That way you’re not responsible for the killing. ‘Go jump into that death plant. Oh, you killed yourself. Let me have your soul…'”