“Why are we going fishing at the Texas Motor Speedway?”
“That’s where the fastest fish are!”
“Disney hair extensions in the clearance aisle? That, I’m OK with. A mullet wig? I’m not so sure about that…”
“It doesn’t make it impossible to pick. Impossible isn’t even on the difficulty list!”
“You smell that? It smells more like fish market, less like low tide.”
“Why does this bother me more?”
“This one is actually a greater percentage of glowing blue gel than inappropriate organs.”
“I think we just found biodegradable glow sticks.”
“I think I don’t want to fuck with this stuff.”
“So the ladies are staying to watch bubbles, and the guys are going to watch someone horking…”
“Now that he’s lending out his couch to another person.”
“That is not happening.”
“You’re burying the lede, Mark!”
“I’m not bothered by the talking fish.”
“I mean, you’re sticking your mouth in fish; this can’t be that bad.”
“I’m trying to figure out which tastes worse, this alcohol I made or a tire?”
“This time around, the fish don’t seem as… chatty.”
“Phrases I didn’t expect to hear tonight.”
“It’s not like I need to wash my hands – I’m in water.”
“Oh, you need to wash. Thoroughly.”
“It’s a cyclone of silt, not a whirlpool. Calm down there, buddy!”
“Sure! If I said it last week, it must be true! It’s not like I’m making this up entirely every week.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Well, it’s customary to knock on the door to let someone know you’re there.”
“No, I mean the fish talking.”
“No, it sounds like a clatter of empty cans, not sweet ‘n low packages.”
“Who is that man in the pool?”
“Don’t know.”
“If you say Roger, I will punch you in the face.”
“I mean, I’m not very wise about these things, but I’m pretty sure we shouldn’t ask around town about who dumped the body.”
“I mean, this isn’t going to help us, but I’m curious.”
“My ‘I didn’t expect to be having this conversation tonight’ meter is worn out.”
“Do you want mutant poo fish? Because that’s how you get mutant poo fish.”
“I’m going to attempt to reason with the fish.”
“I’m not gonna rock – I’m gonna panic.”
“The ones out of the [frozen] pool? Solid. The ones still in the pool? Also solid.”
“Mark just slid all the way across like he was in some sort of Canadian fish luge. Which may be the next Olympic sport…”
“What’s in that whiskey?!”
“Hellfire, at this point.”
“I’ve got to stay in the area to render aid, but fighting a floppy fish swarm is…”
“Well, I have a 19, which is enough for 800 pounds of… fish and stone.”
“You can see Mark.”
“That doesn’t help me.”
“That’s normal for him.”
“Everything about this session is what I imagined.”
“You’ve seen this body before. In fact, you’ve seen it twice before.”
“Hey Noah? You remember when I stole the body for Roger?”
“Yeah?”
“This is that body.”
“The one that was full of spiders?!”
“Uh-huh.”