“No arson, no arrests, all my crimes happened in other centuries…”
“Uh… if I recall where everyone was when I realized that this was going badly…”
“Didn’t I join a cult?”
“That was like 2 sessions ago.”
“Was it?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m a crappy cultist.”
“I’m gonna give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you can count to three.”
“Come on, we’re creating an image here – of course he’s got a megaphone.”
“In fact, if you don’t step away from him, one of my officers will help you do so.”
“Come on, they sneaked in some bodies to do evil experiments on them, and I’m the weird guy?”
“I dunno – every time there’s trouble, he’s there!”
“Uh… I called him.”
“Because who hits a priest, right?”
“I’ll remind you of that the next time we go drinking.”
“God-damn poser!”
“Are you allowed to damn God?”
“Now. Is not. The time.”
“Ugh, they’re slippery!”
“And squishy.”
“I’m even giving you a +2.”
“Won’t help.” rolls “Yep, didn’t help.”
“Well, what did you get?”
“I rolled a 9.”
“Yeah, that didn’t help.”
“If they start twitching like a Japanese zombie movie, I’m out.”
“That’s where they started…”
“I scream. The head of the guy whose legs I’m holding just got separated – I scream.”
“The one that was nearly decapitated? It doesn’t do that crawly thing that happens in Japanese horror movies, but it does skitter under the ambulance to get away from the melee…”
“Next round, I’m going to hotwire the ambulance.”
“Uh, the keys are in it.”
“It’s Rick. He may hotwire it anyway.”
“Hurry, get into the Monster! There’s crazy, drunken, hentai zombies!”
“So it’s not until you all meet up at the Burrito Shack later that you realize that you left Anders?”
“Yep.”
“You realize you have no priest as you’re entering the priest’s house.”