“Did the new expansion come with a higher score?”
“Yeah, they’re faxing each other.”
“You’d think baud rates would be better on this planet.”
“They are – that’s why it only takes a second.”
“Who’s surprised that Sissy turned out to be a problem? Anyone? Anyone?”
“She doesn’t have eyebrows, but somehow she’s scowling at me.”
“As the copilot of this ship, I need to inform you that there’s a rule on the ship that if your ass is naked, you sit on objects with a towel under your naked ass.”
“It’s a complicated rule.”
“You do know that as the engineer of this ship, my ass has been on every surface…?”
“They’re going to smell the alcohol on your breath.”
“You assume it’s going through my mouth.”
“…Right, so we need to do something about Jo-Li.”
“I like how Sarah doesn’t have a response for that.”
“It’s not that I don’t have a response – I’m just choosing not to continue the conversation.”
“I’m not even making that a daily lesson: not all ingestion has to go through the mouth.”
“So don’t write that down.”
“Don’t write it down, but take it to heart.”
“That’s disingenuous.”
“Yes?”
“And I thought you were his apprentice.”
“That’s complicated.”
“So have you decided on a plan yet?”
“Not really.”
“We have like twelve – “
” – eighteen percent – “
” – of a plan.”
“Wait, did she bring luggage? I thought she came by herself!”
“Prison wallet.”
“You can’t put clothes in that!”
“It’s a big planet – you can find a tactical turtleneck somewhere.”
“Yeah! Those giant farting ticks. We totally could have filled the hold with giant farting ticks!”
“Did we just get booted?”
“Yeah. ‘Welcome to Corellia.'”
“Insert 57 coins to release the boot?”
“Look, I’m not a moron, people! I have good ideas! They’re just so watered down with bad ideas that they’re hard to fish out!”
“If you’re going to shoot my pants, you might as well shoot me.”
“We can make it look like you were shot.”
“And when we say pants, we do mean trousers?”
“We mean the outerwear, yes.”
“If you need to explode something on me, you can do that.”
“We’re not going to explode anything on you. We might need to paint on you…”
“Remember when I said to be careful with her? Write that down.”
“I would, but there’s not an adult in the room.”
“Show me on the hydrospanner where the creepy darksider touched you.”
“You’re not allowed to bring guests on board anymore.”
“Yeahhh, I didn’t want to bring guests on board, but my options were either to do that or be smeared into paste at the bottom of the ocean!”