“But have you been in every nook and cranny at once?”
“I have Life Sense. So yes.”
“I’m hoping the blaster fire gives people pause. That is its whole purpose – not to damage, but to give people pause.”
“It worked on y’all.”
“It did.”
“You think he would snap to attention, except for… well…”
“The scary Mon Cal lady?”
“Yeah, we don’t need you and I being the only survivors.”
“Because we’re in pods?”
“Competent, but yeah.”
“Yaaaay! I sucked and still got it!”
“What’s wrong with your sensors?”
“I don’t know – what’s wrong with my sensors, mechanic?”
“They’re sensing for ‘toast darkness,’ because my bagels kept coming out too dark.”
“Also, there’s a less than 1% chance that if we open the rear cargo bay door and flush the evacuator at the same time, the ship may shut down.”
“Well, let’s not do that.”
“It was at 4%.”
“Your ship, while it was sitting there firing randomly, seriously damaged their ability to launch.”
“I’m gonna take credit for that again.”
“Absolutely.”
“That’s more likely.”
“We can deal with trackers. He can find them, and I can pull them out of their buttplugs.”
“…Wait, what?”
“Somebody at this table rolls higher than anybody else, that’s all I’m saying.”
“Thank goodness.”
“And it’s not me.”
“Hey, the reticles are orange now, since the reboot. They were amber before, but I added just a touch of red. I thought they were more visible.”
“Point number one, we aren’t going back to the Mon Cal system. Point number two, we should probably go back to the people who sent us to the Mon Cal system in the first place. Point number three, if we can’t do that quickly, then we probably need to go somewhere with a medical professional, because the king is deteriorating and we’re gonna need someone who knows more medicine than Tycho and a bottle of brandy.”
“Generally speaking, I spend enough time in the lower turret that I’m sober by the time it’s time to leave. I don’t bring alcohol in the turret.”
“I’m not concerned about blood. I’m wearing an ancient, shitty Jedi robe. If this thing gets laundered in the next hundred years, it’ll be the first time it gets laundered in two hundred years.”
“The lightsaber always stays – “
“In his prison wallet!”
“No, just outside the prison wallet.”
“Is there any way we can increase those odds?”
ba-dink “Searching for: is there any way we can increase those odds.”
“…That was odd.”
“Which one’s the red wire?”
“I didn’t use red wire.”
“Oh, well, here, let me get you red wire. Okay, now, don’t put it there. Or there. Wait, lightsabers don’t need red wire!”
“So how many dice am I losing from him?”
“Amber? Like the targeting array?”
“Until I do the next upgrade, when I’m going to make it IBM green.”
“Your lightsaber or the targeting array?”
“There’s only one person who can get away with a purple lightsaber, and it has to say ‘bad motherfucker’ on the side.”
“Also, their greatest accomplishment is that they survived working with Kenobi and Skywalker.”