“Now two people in the party won’t touch that because it’s… sticky.”
“The king slowly becomes a kleptomaniac as he walks through Ausglech…”
“Uh, Your Majesty…?”
“Exactly! YOUR Majesty!”
“Okay… are we ready to go to…”
“Are we EVER ready? Have we ever BEEN ready?”
“So the tree hasn’t been overly aggressive yet, right?”
“So you’re Ghost Rider?”
“Yeah, but with a better complexion.”
“…27 points of damage.”
“Did you sunder the halfling? Are there two now?”
“You’re not going to try and acrobat the door open!”
“Climbing up the wall… *die roll* …I pulled a Yammy. I rolled a six…”
“22 with the goose…”
“What are we doing with the horses?”
“Oh, they climbed the wall too…”
“It’s blue glowy Obi-Wan elf. It’s Obi-Wan Elf-nobi.”
“I don’t cast spells. I drink them.”
“The next time I see a blur, I’m going to… to… elemental clothesline it.”
“To get the same protection against poison, you’d have to eat 15 bowls of corn flakes…”
“I slow it down! No, that’s not what I meant. Okay, I don’t slow it down.”
“Bwah! Wait! CR 134! CR 134! I didn’t think I’d ever use this!”
“Get me a very small noose.”
“Oh, good, he’s wearing a cravat. That makes me feel better about killing him.”
“I could be useful!”
“Yes, I could use a very small sheath.”
“Sounds like somebody’s slapping a steak up against the side of a building…”
“I bet he does a wicked jig.”
“Jig? I do a gavotte!”
“THAT’s what dungeons are. They’re just apartment buildings for monsters!”
“She may be six feet tall, but you’re going to pole vault to get there.”
“I’m going to answer Yam’s question before I start with the special effects budget…”
“I hate you damn cake-icers.”
“We can put the diplomat in the tower, lock the doors, and make him let down his hair…”
“I think all the evil monsters we fight need some sort of legal council… because this just isn’t fair.”
“…You do write in 6 point font.”
“I need to be a respectable monarch! I need to go home and take a bath! I virtually almost died!”