“The best football movie of all times… is a baseball movie.”
“My marble is full of mouth today.”
“Is that why you go for the corn dog before the woman? The woman won’t get cold, but the corn dog will?”
“Yeah, that corn dog is still warm. That woman’s been dead inside for years.”
“Are you telling me the plot is on the other coast? We overshot it by THAT much?”
“What we have to do… is… figure out what we have to do…”
“Where did we get the other one? Darryl’s just clobbering Chinamen.”
“When no more feet go missing, we’ll know we’ve got the right one.”
“It was the hard sell of the soft serve.”
“Two scenes later, I decide I should finally be paying attention…”
“Bastard.”
“Why did you just SMELL the board game?”
“I don’t want to smell Silver Surfer!”
“Here. Take this interpreter.” *stage whisper* “I don’t trust her!”
“What do those pieces smell like?”
“Yeah, man, give me a whiff! I need more cosmic power!”
“Yes, this is just like Thanksgiving. Just replace the turkey with a severed foot.”
“… The navigation-type thingy. I don’t know! Make with the SCIENCE!”
“…Our games are NOT like other people’s games…”
“Turns out that Jack Strange’s interpreter is, in fact, daughter of the foot trasher.”
“It’s got a giant fist on the front! We’re just going to drive it through!”
“…Subtlety is the way to go.”
*uproarious laughter*
“Subtlety?!”
“Our group is all about the ass. Yammy wanted some guy to turn around and fist him.”
“No, that was the horse.”
“WHAT?!”
*much talk about horses and fists* “Can we go back to the corn dogs?”
“Ugh. I’ll never use that term again. ‘Let’s hoof it!'”
“This is why we had to leave Canada.”
“I’m saying this is not necessarily the morals we want to instill in the youth of America.”
“If you’re ever in Canada, honey, don’t fist any horses.”
“I got distracted trying to figure out why the cockroaches have candles…”
“This is why you’re not the director of the show. Because you’d be all ‘there’s not enough horse fisting in here’!”
“And the game was going well… until we got derailed by horse-fisting…”
“…This is why we can’t have nice things.”
“Well, fortunately, we’ve gotten you out of the way so you can’t steal yourself.”
“We’re doing the sister thing again, aren’t we.”
“If this was some sort of dime-store novel, I might believe that. But this is the cold, hard truth of Canada!”
“Well, you’ll have to be come a Canadian citizen.”
“…Balls. Not worth it.”
“Did you see the sights? Anything worth a laugh?”
“Bart naked?”
“WOULD SOMEONE ANSWER THE DAMNED PHONE?!”
“Kacey… there is no phone…”
“Wait – and he was one of the ones sending telegrams by Western Union?”
“Yes…”
“So he was a telegraph Pole?”
“His intent is to create an army and take over Canada.”
“He can have it. Let’s go home.”
“Trust me, Canadian jail is far better than Nebraska.”
“Your dog may be able to parachute, but… ok, I have no problem with it.”
“When did you become me?! First, you recommend killing the hostage, and now you’re recommending turning yourself in!”
“The OTHER sister does the walking!”
“So she’s a hooker?”
“Are you suggesting we ‘Tropic Thunder’ it?”