“I’m going to go to where the alcohol lives.”
“I’m going to climb up into the nearest booster seat…”
“That’s a stool.”
“…You’re not a kid.”
“No, ma’am. I’m guessing it was the five o’clock stubble that tipped out off.”
“I am not going to get waylaid by this large woman tonight…”
“Perception checks!”
“Twenty, modified.”
“…Best not spoken of in polite company.”
“Wow. I never would have guessed that skull-boy was one of them.”
“You know, Kacey is going to be very upset when he learns his horse is named Tubesock.”
“This is the guy you see on the boat.”
“Oh god, it’s Mark Twain.”
“Or Einstein.”
“We’re looking for earth’s tonsils at this point.”
“The forces of evil will use it for something malicious.”
“Or we will need to breathe underwater.”
“Let’s take something important. Like the plug.”
“I don’t like the way that mermaid’s looking at me.”
“…It’s a piece of wood.”
“Hey… we lost a label right in the middle. I guess that’s where we’re going to stick the prison?”
(discussion of the lack of salt in the general store)
“That’s it! Kacey and Yammy have been here!”
“I’m beginning to think you’re setting prices just to watch his face…”
“It’s straight out of the book!”
“Like we need an apothecary. Especially a half-elf.”
“Could you… clarify?”
“The existance of us three significantly lowers the average height…”
“As far as I can tell at this point, we should make it a point to find the salt. Because horses like salt licks.”
“Oh yeah. We were gaming.”
“Before I discovered my magical horse buttholes.”
“How the hell do you bury someone out there? There’s no dirt!”
“They bury them in the sea.”
“That’s barbaric!”
“I don’t have all that many accents in my repertoire.”
“Just go with Sam Elliot and everything will be ok.”
“Dwarven beard sign language.”
“Your dice are on…”
“What’s the opposite of fire?”
“I think ‘stand-by’ works…”
“I am respectful of other people’s cultures and beliefs… until I have to kill them.”
“And he has just the worst spell list possible for being down a pit…”