“Not in this group.”
“What are you afraid that we’d do, that you don’t want to play Emma Frost?”
“Just play my arch-nemesis, gravity!”
“You know, the same thing could be said of Edward Penis-hands.”
“Actually, I’m not terrible at it… Wait, no. That’s my horse.”
“Your horse can climb?!”
“We’re like a buoy. We sink all the way into the water and bob back up.”
“Turns out, it also has lower AC on the inside.”
“I don’t have an effective plan. But I have a Yammy plan.”
“One of you needs to have a halfling hat. A hatling, as it were.”
“*He’s* a little racist.” *points at the halfling*
“The one attacking Alexei is the one that just finished eating Feng.”
“It didn’t finish eating Feng!”
“No, no, it’s done.”
“I mean, I know there’s water involved, but he can still kill it with fire.”
“…conglomerate of houses… right angles unwelcome.”
“Oh, shit. It is a house elemental.”
“Or, you could come inside.”
“It’s a trap.”
“No, it’s not a trap.”
“No, it’s a trap.”
“Here’s what we do. We get her in the same room, and I throw a confusion bomb at her. And then she’ll be all like, ‘I exploded and now I’m confused.’ And then we’ll be like, ‘That’s sex with a halfling.'”
“Ah, wiggly crumpets. My favorite.”
“First of all, I’m glad, with all my efforts to bring in all these other species… I’m going to be remembered for the fireworks.”
“Which is interesting, because we tend to care least about the places we throw our trash. Like his lake.”
“‘Sir, the soldiers are invading Olegton.’ ‘Fire the catapults!’ ‘Well, sir, you’ve destroyed three houses…'”
“Can you do that? Can you offer me a home in your land?”
“Sure. We can put you next to the other creepy lady.”
“And here’s your complimentary bag of nails. For your possessions.”
*everyone stares*
“To nail it all down?”
*laughing starts*
“Welcome to Speerspitze. Nail your shit down.”
“Have we mentioned that in Speerspitze, we have a huge kobold problem. Population.”
“Welcome to Speerspitze. Here’s your bag of nails.”
“That’s why we’re going to conquer Brevoy. We want humans.”
“I thought the kobolds were going to steal it for us.”