“Bryan, is your office private…? And how salty are your nuts?”
“…I need an adult.”
“He said he was going to probe Tarkus’s mind, and frankly, I’m still horrified by the discussion of nuts in my office…”
“I just looked this up. The mizzen is the fr…”
“Back.”
“You’re close… opposite end of the ship, but you’re close!”
“I didn’t know you could do origami with meat.”
“I’m actually very influential – even when I’m not rum.”
“I assume everything I do is in song.”
“‘That’s okay/walk it off, biiiitch.'”
“…I would like to punch you in the tit.”
“Port or starboard?”
“I take my 5 foot move and punch her in the tit.”
“They do not believe you’re actually going to do it, so you get a surprise round.”
“If they don’t have a reflex save, we don’t need them.”
“Sobriety elemental??”
“Not only is he a really bad pirate, he has Sam’s Private Time every morning.”
“I salute my opponent with the honorary fish-man spit to the eye…”
“We’re going to neck-wrestle, and the penalty is guillotines.”
“You have two shorter ropes! You can’t have half a rope!”
“No, I’m just kind of worried about the wrestling hooker’s choke hold.”
“You can take my rigging, but you can never have half a rooooope!”
“If they bake you, can we bread you first?”
“I’m only 10 feet away. Hey, Blyds, I’ve been drinking! *breathe*”
“You, sir, are a bastard.”
(Mr. Blyds cannot hold his grog…)
“I’m thinking! I’m wounded, more deeply than that spear, by your remarks.”
“Everybody assumes that just because you’re a fish-man, you don’t like good food.”
“I’ve seen you gobble fish guts out of the cauldrons.”
“Real work is happening; he is NOWHERE near.”
“And you’re not even on my list, fish-guy.”
“Is he listed on the menu?”
“He’s got one hit point left! Use the t-shirt cannon!”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you; I only have half a rope!”
“Fuck you and your half a rope!”
“You are dangling from a man who is dangling from a shark who is dangling from a rope that is dangling from the side of a ship.”
“I’m not gonna die.”
“He says, with seven points of damage and bleeding from a bullet hole.”
“Just attach a little homing collar, so you always know which side of the ship he’s on.”
“You’re so positive, even when your face is melting.”
“His eyes are bleeding, his face is black…”
“Jesus. Did you face-fuck a cheese grater?”
“‘Why is your face black?’ ‘Why did the goblin attack every officer on the ship?’ ‘Point taken.'”
“I’m sure his gun fires non-lethal bullets.”
“They have little boxing gloves at the end of the bullets.”
“It did not go off as planned, but it went off as expected.”
“Hey, so you know – defiance isn’t a good idea.”
“There’s levels of defiance…”
“Like I said, it went as well as most of my plans go… only one PC died this time.”