“It’s stripper pizza.”
“Don’t care, had pizza.”
“We have been to unclean lands to get to those dolphins. UNCLEAAAAN…”
“THAT’s what you look like?”
“My sister’s hot!”
“Skywalker! Skywalker!”
“…tan-genital.”
“I like how we’re making up words now.”
“It’s less making up words than sticking ‘tan’ in front of things that shouldn’t have it.”
“Pick up the stick, you fucker!”
“Yup, that’s Baldur’s Gate.”
“But if you’re not writing a Choose Your Own Adventure book, why are you writing anyway?”
“If you had said ‘the other disgusting fish-man,’ I would remember. But there’s no other fish-man. And that’s why this game is racist.”
“Nobody has ever done it shark-doggy style.”
“Our doom is Nair?”
“Would that be Knowledge: Language?”
“Linguisitics?”
“I am a regular whore. But only because I eat lots of fiber.”
“You don’t take supplies from undead whores.”
“Why? It’s not like they need them…”
“Zero is a bonus, because it’s not a penalty.”
“That’s it, the natural 20 is gone! We’re fucked for the night, people!”
“I’m not sure what a lubber is, but the way they talked about them on the ship, I’m terrified…”
“Did he just throw a stick at a corpse?”
“As a matter of fact, he did, cubby!”
“‘I’m going to kill you and take your stuff, but I’m going to feel bad about it later.’ That’s just called being Catholic.”
“‘I don’t travel on land without my shark!’ What?!”
“That’s why I gave him legs!”
“…before or after your fiance found out about the baby…?”
“The baby I bought?”
“You bought a baby?!”
“Well, these things happen.”
“But to what point do I need to use a hero point?”
“At the point where everything fucked up!”
“Okay, I can fix this. I can fix this, I think.”
“That’s actually more terrifying…”
“We’re up to our old tricks again!”
“Except I’m the fire man this time!”
“Doesn’t matter, some hostages gonna die!”
“Except we ran away. They got XP for us.”
“‘Half the island was burning!’ ‘Yeah, there were some gnats…'”
“I’ll cast a light spell on his dangly bits.”
“I thought he already had a light spell on his dangly bits.”
“Why are we talking about his dangly bits?”
“I’m inspired because when we defeat them, he stops singing!”
“…you just made my butt pucker.”
“I don’t know what kind of spells you’re casting over there…”
“…Chellish navy uniform.”
“So he was a sailor… who played the cello…”
“Yes, Kevin? What were you going to say before we became horrible people?”
“I’m going to do something exceptionally disgusting.”
“Oh, good, you’re so reassuring…”
[After one PC vomits up spiders as the effect of a spell…]
“Why do you keep those in there?”
“Don’t listen to him. He’s only the GM. He only has the book.”
“If I pick this up and shake it and it’s suddenly filled with coke, will you try phasing through the wall?”
“Hell fucking yes.”
“He’s going to report back, ‘Aaaaaaaaahhhh, motherfuckers! I have no constitution!'”
“You see Gill climbing down, and then, all of a sudden, he’s got a full leather coat made of stirge wings…”
“I just remembered. I don’t want to be here any more. That’s it. That’s where I needed to go.”
“…threw up in my probiscis.”
“I just threw up into the body where it sucked [the blood] out of.”