“Well, if you let me get sell your equipment for you, you’ll come out with the same amount of money.”
“Well, I’ve had it all along. I just didn’t whip it out because I didn’t want anyone to be jealous.”
“YOU wrote the articles, with ‘no intent’ of being the captain, and all of a sudden, he’s dead and you’re the captain!”
“Oh. I suddenly remembered where we are and what we’re doing. Oh. Oh my.”
“Technically, we have a fortress there.”
“It’s just in pieces. It’s a puzzle!”
“It’s a Lego fortress!”
“Due to a stutter, the Human Cannonball became the Human Cannibal.”
“I think all stories should end with ‘and then the dirigible crashed.'”
“You think he ever gets tired of that pose?”
“Nah, I can sleep like that.”
“Why are they still fishing if their ship is taking on water?”
“Fish can swim?”
“You know, I feel like we’ve already pirated one fishing boat, and I feel like that’s our quota…”
“Sounds like a trap. Better set it off; only way to know what’s in it.”
“Send toxic boat to go meet sinking boat.”
“Or just name it ‘fish man eats faces’, since that’s his ship.”
“I want to board through the hole. … That wasn’t supposed to be a joke. I want to start on the lower decks. … That wasn’t supposed to be a joke either.”
“Um… no. I have minuses to all things that would make me competent.”
“Get over here, you fucker.”
“Do we have a flag that says that?”
“We do now.”
“She just writes it on the flag.”
“In my blood!”
“That would be me!”
“Well, if you’re done bleeding everywhere and slacking off…”
“Right, so if there’s ever a situation that looks like we should send a couple of people to scout… everyone should go.”
“Yay! They still have our block and tackle!”
“Believe me, if you were just a little bit smaller, I’d just shove you in my sack and carry you up there.”
“Yeah, the whole ‘message for you, sir’ is only funny if it’s an arrow. It’s a lot less funny if it’s a harpoon.”
“Now, with the translator…”
“Oh, I got it!”
“…Find some dice, you hippie.”
“Captain! I see your junk!”
“It’s very impressive, isn’t it?”
“It’s very fast.”
“I don’t know, I’m having to use a spyglass to see it.”
“Don’t worry, it’s still covered in seamen, just like last time.”
“And he’s a pirate from Port Peril, so we have no proof that he has not touched Mary T.”